I feel like my life is falling apart
Hey guys, this is the first time I've ever turned to the internet for this, but right now I feel like i have nowhere else to go.
I suppose I should start off by introducing myself a little. I'd prefer not to use my real name for now, so referring to me by my username is fine. I am 19 years old, from N Ireland, and I attend University in England studying engineering.
The past year has been the worst of my life, it feels like, and now all my problems feel like they have been amplified one hundred million times.
I have developed symptoms of depression due to severe homesickness and people close to me doing certain things which have hurt me. My high workload at Uni doesn't help either. I feel stressed. I feel disorganised. I feel tired, I don't get much sleep. I'm losing hair already. My whole body is just physically unable to cope with it all.
To compound this, I have a complete lack of self-confidence, so basically every facet of my life feels terrible. Be it my social life, my study life, my sex life.
Furthermore, I feel like i have nothing else to do, like I'm trapped over here. Back home, I was never able to get a job, and due to the high workload at Uni I haven't been able to get one here either. And now I feel like I won't be able to get any work anywhere, be it part-time or full-time if I do manage to get something out of Uni.
I feel as though I have no fall back. It is this feeling that is making me feel like my life is only going to get worse, and that I don't enjoy it anymore.
The only positive for me is I haven't turned to self-harm, but I did turn to taking a lot of tablets to try and put me out of it to help me sleep. This only happened on a couple of occasions however, and since then I have been put on a course of anti-depressants which have somewhat aided my sleep.
However, as they are showing now, they don't always work. I don't like relying on tablets for my happiness. I don't like feeling trapped over here. I don't like having no direction. I'm worried about my general state of mind.
If you want to know anything more, I may answer you depending on if the question is too personal or not. Otherwise, I look forward to your replies.