As part of my journey back onto SSRI's I thought I would keep a journal of my effects of taking prozac. I figure it will help someone who is just starting out and help me when I get to talk to the psychiatrist.
I take mine in the evening, usually with dinner (anywhere from 6-8 PM)
Week 1 (began 6/14): No alieviation of the depression or anxiety. Vivid dreams that wake me at all hours of the night. Fairly bad morning anxiety that is new and worse than what I was already experiencing. Fairly significant daytime fatigue.
Week 2: Rehash of week 1. Maybe a little lessening of the morning anxiety. Of course, in the middle of week two I went on vacation and who can be depressed on vacation at the beach? The first few days were mildly depressed but I got some sleep and relaxed, which helped. I had one night where I just felt bad, kind of like I had the flu. If I didn't take a xanax at night, I awoke many times. I thought I was well on my way to recovery but came back to life, work and problems. Having a hard time gaining perspective on my problems....a key to getting better. Continuing to be overwhelmed by simple things or thoughts.
I'm currently on week 2 day 4. I'll start doing some daily updates as notable things happen. Today I felt like crap towards the middle of the day, lots of extra anxiety and stress. I thought I was doing better but it must have been the vacation effect because I am as anxious as I have ever been on this prozac. Of course, today was day 1 back to work after the vacation. I'm hoping that the good effects begin to kick in soon....I need them to. I can say that even at my worst, I don't feel as if I am as bad as when I started so maybe there is some lessening of the depression/anxiety.
One of the hallmarks of my depression is that it stymies my ability to eat and the desire to eat. During the first episode in 1999, I lost 40+ pounds in 8 weeks because I would eat a bite and then become nauseated. I went on paxil and gained the 40 back almost overnight and then some. Wiened off the paxil but never lost the weight. I have a very strong diurnal variation in that each night around 7 PM the depression just let go (before I was on medication) and I would suddenly be happy and hungry and my old normal self. It was almost like a drug high because one minute I was in hell's misery and the next, perfectly normal.
Now that I started Prozac it seems that it does have a bit of an appetite suppressant effect on me. Even when the depression/anxiety lets up it doesn't seem like I am quite that hungry. Now keep in mind that the last week I was on vacation and when playing in the water you get quite an appetite built up. So my appetite increased to normal levels for the large part and seemed to coincide with feeling good. During the times where I didn't feel good on vacation, my appetite seemed to wane a good bit. So I am not sure if it is the depression keeping the desire for food down or the Prozac...probably a little of both honestly speaking.
I decided to suggest Prozac because I didn't want to gain weight and it seemed to be the least likely according to most people. I can't say whether I am feeling any effects other than side effects at this point....maybe lessining of the anxiety in the mornings.
Oncloud, your journey sounds a LOT like mine. 98 Prozac, off then on Paxil 2002-2004 gained 30 ish pounds, then a few good years, then 2007 Wellbutrin worked the first time around, tried again in late 2008 and about lost my mind. Seriously had severe reactions. Early 2009 back on "old faithful" Prozac and it took awhile to work, I do not remember when or how but I was eventually myself again.
I had resigned myself that I am one who will most likely need a maintenance dose my whole life...but stop. I decided almost 3 months ago during a cross country move that I would be OK when I couldn't find them. So 2 to 2 1/2 months later it started back.
My depression is triggered by lifes stressful events and my experiences with diurnal mood variation (which I never knew existed until 2008) are the same. I do NOT want to go to sleep because I know it is going to start. I wake and do nothing but cry, moan, groan, and I am never hungry. Throughout the day I have seconds maybe a few minutes of okness, but not until around 5 when I have to at least force myself to make dinner for the family, do I begin to feel a little ok and hungry. Except this time, the hungry is minimal and I am not able to eat much or keep it down.
I started back on the 20mg of prozac around the 27th. I didn't keep accurate records because I thought I was in time to ward off the depression, I was TOTALLY wrong because it hit a few days later and thankfully it isn't as bad as I recall from 2008-2009, but it is still bad. Bad enough that I fear it will not get better. I did see a dr this AM who upped the dosage to 40mg even though I wasn't sure but he did assure me once I became comfortable then I could try to go back to 20mg. I also made an appointment about 30 minutes ago with a therapist for the 19th. I just want to be me again.
We just moved here and I have a wonderful job opportunity but I just can't seem to finish the paperwork to get my creditionaling in. I want the job I just can't do it, if you know what I mean. She did give me a few weeks to get settled so I have that and hopefully in a few days the first 2 wks will start to kick in. It took about 2 wks each time, however I do recall at least feeling a little better right at first this time not so much. Hopefully, with time, I will make it better.
I just wanted to let you know that I am going through the same thing at the same time. I don't know about you, but I could use as many supportive friends as possible.
Somehow time slipped away from me. I failed to provide my daily updates.
I am somewhere in the 3 week range now and something odd happened. I have been able to largely stop taking xanax at night to help me sleep (because of the overly active dreaming) and my mood is one that's much more relaxed. I wake up much less anxious than I have been being, although not quite calm just yet either. But functional.
I have neighbor issues that I have determined is my trigger so when I am at work my mood gets better but as it gets time to go home, it sours a little. But I am just going to have to deal with it because they aren't going anywhere and I can't sell right now. Neighbors suck.
I'm also studying for the Cpa exam so that's a stressor.
It seems that the prozac is going to work. My appetite is back and I've gained a few of the pounds back that I lost. But my apetite isn't ravaging like usual either so maybe I'll maintain the weight loss.
Isn't that Diurnal variation something to behold. My depression grabs me in the AM and then somewhere around 7 PM it lets go and I go from miserable to normal again in minutes. Like turning off a light switch. Just amazing.
Diurnal variation sucks. It makes logical sense but it doesn't make sense to mySELF. If you know what I mean. I can look at the reasons why but it still doesn't help to know that. It is totally like a light switch that is off then slowly starts to turn on...slllooowwwwlllyyy.
That is my ONLY indication that the Prozac is starting to SLOWLY work. Such as today...I didn't wake up crying or wanting to just curl back in bed to cry. I HAD to get up and I did. I actually had a cup of coffee this am! Wow, really? That made me happy?? I like coffee but just didn't have the desire to make it or drink it. Now, I did make it but it sat for awhile before I slowly started to sip it. It isn't a big deal to some but to me, it was a huge step.
I am looking forward to this evening when my happy self comes out to play.
It was the only thing that kept me alive was that variation. I wasn't eating all day...couldn't eat. Only when the variation made the depression let up did I feel better and was able to eat food again. I lost over 40 pounds in 5 weeks thanks to my depression.
I am happy to report that today I woke up feeling WONDERFUL again. Not manic or hyper, just my happy hopeful self. I am just shy of one month on the Prozac.
Instead of being overwhelmed by my neighbor situation, I don't really care one way or another. They can all go spit. That's how I know I am really back baby. Feeling good.
Tomorrow will be week 1 of the 40 mg dose increase and Wednesday will be about week 3 of when I started back with the 20mg. How are you feeling?
The first thing i can say with confidence is that I did NOT wake up crying the past few mornings. I didn't wake up and feel great, I just woke up and thought "oh hell, guess I better get up." I am not under the impression it is ok just that I feel like there could possibly be some hope??? I am trying to remain hopeful but I am just finding it difficult to remember what I am like without depression even though it was only about a month ago that I felt ok.
I am slowly making some headway into this parttime job I have been offered, but I am terrified of enrolling my 2 yr old in childcare. She is my baby and I would love to not have to send her somewhere that she doesn't know anyone! I am developing some anxiety of it, but I now it is only for a few hours a day and she could love it. Will I love it? I don't know, but I have to try.