i feel all alone in this world, i am shy and have never been on a real date only online dates through websites,chatting to women is hard for me.
i have no friends, i just want to have friends like a normal person and have fun but instead i feel depressed and alone,i dont feel like doing anything as i feel when i go out by myself people stare at me like a loser.
i'm friendly and chatty but no one wants to spend time with me i feel like theres something wrong with me.
does anyone else feel like this or is it just me?
i'd appreciate some honest comments even if they're negative. i'm tired of feeling like this
Yes, I feel that way. And I have friends and I think none of them except my best friend thinks I'm unhappy because I'm so good at hiding it. When I tell a friend I'm unhappy they seem surprised. People like being around those who look happy and like they are having fun because they think they will become happy by being around them.
If what you say is true, and you don't feel like you have friends or have trouble taking to girls,
I bet you could find a girl who feels like you and to whom it would be easier to talk to. You just have to get out and meet people. The more people you meet, the more likely you are to make friends.
My problem is a little different. I have great friends and a boyfriend and I'm still unhappy even though I shouldn't be. I should be really happy.
The following user gives a hug of support to whysosad: wilsonfeelssad (08-17-2012)
The Following User Says Thank You to whysosad For This Useful Post: wilsonfeelssad (08-02-2012)
I'm not sure why I'm so sad--there is no specific reason, really. I went through a sad breakup about a year and a half ago, and I think it unleashed a ton of general sadness that I haven't been able to shake despite medication. Sometimes I'm still sad it didn't work out after so long together, but it doesn't explain why I'm so tremendously sad about my life. I have largely accepted the breakup. But it feels more like losing a family member because we weren't very romantic, and that is what is so strange because I feel like I took the breakup harder even than friends of mine who divorced after years of marriage, whereas my old relationship wasn't like the end of this great romance, either. So then I've wondered if I was sad before the breakup and didn't quite realize it? It feels like there is some dark cloud behind everything, even the best things. It is so much bigger than the breakup.
Now I am dating someone new and he is wonderful and there is chemistry and everything, but I still feel really sad sometimes, cry for no reason, sometimes for hours. Sometimes I want to die, and sometimes I even take risks with my life that I shouldn't. Maybe like some kind of passive suicide. I could never commit suicide because a family member of mine committed suicide at age sixteen and it devastated our family. So when I am very sad, I'm sometimes careless crossing the street, for example, with some kind of vague and passive wish to die but the inability to make it happen myself. The funny thing is where I live the drivers are crazy, and when you don't want cars to run you over when you cross the street at crosswalks, they nearly do. But when you don't care if they run you over and take risks, they are suddenly very careful. And then I snap out of it, tell my therapist, who prescribes me medication... But it doesn't really help.
It's hard to share this even with people who are close to me because they think it's a judgment on them or a rejection of them--or they think I'm weird and are pushed away. So I just tell my therapist and share parts of this to maybe one friend and my boyfriend. Otherwise try to keep it to myself otherwise and try to smile and laugh and look like I'm having a good time with the hope that I'll "fake it till I make it." But I am trying to get better. It's just not easy. It's really tough feeling so much sadness without really knowing why.
Anyway, if you are afraid of people rejecting you when you meet them, all you have to do is act positive, smile and act like you are enjoying yourself. Talk about things you like or ask them about things they like. Then you are likable. You have your foot in the door for friendship, and then you can start to be more complex and share how you feel. People think happiness is contagious, and so that is why those who look happy tend to be sought after in friendship and in relationships. You don't have to be beautiful or witty--that is a misperception.
The following user gives a hug of support to whysosad: wilsonfeelssad (08-17-2012)
The Following User Says Thank You to whysosad For This Useful Post: wilsonfeelssad (08-17-2012)
Theres nothing wrong with you. It sounds to me like your just really lonley. If I were you I would get out of the house. I know that its hard to do but once your out you will feel better.
Forget about what you think other people are thinking. For one thing your probably wrong about there thoughts. Another thing who cares what other people think? As long as you know the truth about yourself it dosnt really matter. I hope that this helped some.
The Following User Says Thank You to Jeanwillbrand For This Useful Post: wilsonfeelssad (08-17-2012)
hi,thanks for replying, i am the biggest judge of myself and i care what other people think of me, i want to go out but am worried about being out alone and people looking at me i'm so self concious and low self esteemed at the moment, i can't even bring myself to go to the cinema at the moment, i hate my body and the way i look and have no confidence at chatting to people, i know that i need to make that leap into chatting to people and socialising.
i moved closer to work as i had no friends where i was living near my family and thought i may meet more people but i think i was wrong, i work and come home and spend time alone,feel depressed alot, i don't really have much family i have an older sister. my brother only contacts me when he needs cash or is in trouble which when i let him live with me before he stole from me, my two half sisters are pretty much out for themselves, my mum stopped me from going to my dads funeral when i was 1 and i've never really forgiven her and we don't talk now, my older sister is great who i get on well with,so shes my only real family. sorry for moaning on
The following user gives a hug of support to wilsonfeelssad: workinmom572 (08-28-2012)
I'm sort of in the same boat. I have a g/f (who lives in a different city) and two sisters. I'm only able to spend time with my g/f on the weekends and one of my sisters lives in a different state so I don't get to see her. My other sister has a family (two little ones) so we don't get much time together. I get really lonely and want to have friends but I've never been good at making them or keeping them. I know I should get out of the house so I can meet people, but it is very hard. I just get so sad that I don't want to do anything. Then I just end up staying home. And being even more sad. It sucks.
I have loved the stars too fondly to be fearful of the night. - S. Williams
The following user gives a hug of support to H79: workinmom572 (08-28-2012)
Depression is hard to deal with by yourself. Perhaps you might consider psychotherapy. Speaking to a therapist or a psychologist might help you sort out your feelings about how you are living your life. You need to build self confidence in yourself and think positive. There are lots of articles on the web about positive thinking. Remember, nothing is impossible to achieve.
The Following User Says Thank You to ln3158 For This Useful Post: workinmom572 (08-28-2012)
I dont have advice, I wish I did. But, look at You opening up.on here?.that's a great step in the right direction I think. I have a spouse & 3 boys, but esp post back surgery I felt alone when everyone had to go back to work and school, so I cried a lot in day alone. Now my mom just disowned me and my three sons so I wonder what is wrong with me and cry at night often even though my spouse says nothing is wrong, he loves me and It's.her problem ( She also has disowned my three brothers and all grandchildren). I wrote a paper in college about internet being a great way for those who are shy to Stay in touch from The.comfort of.their.home. maybe you can eventually meet someone you get to know online (safely of course). I think you are nice and I just met you.
hi thank you for your kind words, i think the problem is i'm too nice,shy and quiet no self confidence and not attractive, i feel like people wouldnt really be interested in what i have to say and that i am scared of being rejected so i just don't try, i have recently joined the gym as i thought maybe if i got bigger and more muscly girls may pay attention and i may get more popular with people but i hold out very little hope, i just seem to carry on day by day living what i feel is a meaningless exsistence, i often ask myself why god chooses for me to live and all these people with meaningful lives die sad i know but i don't understand.
i'm sorry to hear about your problems in your life i too have family problems, we never know what is best to do whether to leave things or carry on fighting i think you are doing the right thing but don't be upset you have so many people who love you, i myself never understand why mothers would disown their children if i was a parent it would be impossible for me to do that, you sound like a lovely person i'm unsure of why anyone would want to upset you.
maybe you think i'm nice because you haven't seen me i look like shreks younger brother
The following user gives a hug of support to wilsonfeelssad: workinmom572 (08-29-2012)
thanks for your reply, i know it seems so hard to go out on your own, when i do go out i feel like everyone looks at me like a loner do you get that too? i'm not sure about your upbringing but i have been kind of the joke most of my life people making fun of me,laughing at me etc my self confidence has taken a big knock i think we need to pick ourselves back up. there is no wayi couldgo to a bar and stike up a conversation with a stranger how about you?