I see no light at end of my tunnel
I have always been an energetic and hard working person my whole life. I worked 40 plus hours a week since I was 18 and paid my way through college receiving my BA and MA. I had to take loans out as well through the years to help with the education expenses. I am now 40 and the last 11 years has been the most depressing for me and I feel I have no hope! 3 years ago I lost my house, car and credit. When the economy crashed all employment doors were closed! I kept hearing overqualified, or you need 5 plus years in that particular field to even be considered. Seriously, I worked 40 plus hours a week and went to college at the same time, and not online btw it was actually in the classroom, and they think I can not learn that position? I have no family so when losing all this I had to live in a motel. Then, I met a women that seemed nice and she took me into her house. She told me she was 8 years younger than me and she had no kids either like me. I thought things might actually change. We lost our first child from miscarriage last year and have kept trying and trying. Now I have lost my house, car, credit, first child, and now to top it off she has gotten very obese and have found out that she is actually 10 years older than me and she cannot have kids! I do not know what to do anymore. I feel held hostage now in this relationship cause she has the money. My friends that have not even worked half as hard as me or go to college, have families, house and seem to live a happy life. Now I have had a eye infection and below my eyes are swollen now for 8 months and after saving 8 months of odd jobs to get money i saw a optomotrist and he doesn't know what is wrong. I went from being handsome, great job good credit and a home to losing everything and now my health. I still see no employment opputunities and have no money to even train to even get one that I like! I love life and do not want to die, however I feel hopeless and I can not stand this pain anymore!!