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Old 08-27-2012, 06:13 PM   #1
Join Date: Aug 2012
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Patsfan995 HB User
What is this? What is wrong with me? Is this depression?

Some background: I am applying to college soon (I'm seventeen) and will be moving. I feel that this is relevant because maybe it is generating a lot of stress?

Lately I've had this awful surreal feeling. It's like I've become intensely aware of my relationships with over people (for example I've become intensely aware of my brother, as if all this time I've never really thought of our relationship), which for some reason makes me feel incredibly distant from them, as if I've reduced them to a concept that's making me anxious because I hate the feeling so much. Whenever I generally get this feeling, which also has included a sense of unreality, I start to panic because sometime it goes away and when it does I feel better, more connected, and more real. I long for the time before this feeling, for the time that I felt "normal", and feel a sense of terror that I will never be able to have that again.

The ways I alleviate this feeling is by talking to my mother and brother (the people with whom this effect is strongest) and by getting more sleep, but it still comes back, sometimes very bad, sometimes not so bad.

When this feeling starts coming back I strongly question my sanity, and question whether or not I love my family, which makes me really depressed, because I know that I do but I'm still freaking out about it. I feel very isolated, and I feel like everything is crashing down and that my sanity is draining away again. I feel very, very restless.

The feeling tends to be weakest when I'm interacting with people, but tends to be strongest when my mind isn't occupied. Is this just extreme boredom? Is it stress? (which is weird because I don't feel that much stress about the things I mentioned at the top, but maybe they're causing underlying stress and anxiety under the surface and I just can't feel it). Or is it something worse, like depression or depersonalization/depression?

Logically, I realize that I'm just over-analyzing everything. But I feel like everything's a surreal mess.

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Old 08-27-2012, 09:20 PM   #2
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Re: What is this? What is wrong with me? Is this depression?

Hello Patsfan995.

I think there may be numerous causes for your surreal feelings. Oftentimes there isn't a clear cut distinction between one emotion feeding into another. When you can keep yourself distracted from your troublesome emotions, it's only natural you won't think about them so much. The mind frequently ruminates when it isn't occupied with a particular task.

Rather than trying to find a label for what you're feeling, I suggest talking to a therapist about what's bothering you and what you can do to better cope with your unpleasant emotions.

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Old 08-28-2012, 07:59 AM   #3
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ln3158 HB User
Re: What is this? What is wrong with me? Is this depression?

Sounds like you are dealing with depression. I went for psychotherapy and it changed my entire life. Just talking with a therapist help me sort Sthru my feelings. Eventually I changed my negative thinking into something positive.You can gain selfconfidence in yourself by learning how to think positive. Sometimes websites have information on this.
Medication of antidepressant drugs can stabilize negative feelings and help you feel better about yourself.

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Old 09-06-2012, 12:52 PM   #4
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longligs HB User
Re: What is this? What is wrong with me? Is this depression?

I agree with the previous two posts. I'll add that some people with depression feel dissociation, or feelings of unreality. I had a slight dose of that myself.

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