have been the most challenging years of my life. In 2010 my mother died from complications due to cancer. That same year we learned that a rare, genetic, fatal disease ran in my husband's family. Earlier this year we found out my husband inherited the disease. On top of that, he's already an insulin dependent diabetic.
I went back to school two years ago, but then quit with all that was going on, plus with my husband's illness we need to save money to prepare for the future. I used to worry so much about saving for our "golden years" and making sure we were secure for retirement. Now I worry that we won't be able to afford our home and car five to ten years from now as my husband may be on disability by that time. I'm stuck in a job that I pretty much hate and only stay because I will not be able to start somewhere else making my current salary. I've been looking for jobs every day, but found nothing yet that would be a good fit financially or for my skill set (or lack of). And going back to school is not an option right now.
My husband and I have both been making sacrifices to prepare financially for the future. I stopped highlighting my hair and treating myself to an occasional shopping spree. I feel washed out from not keeping up with my appearance like I used to, and my clothes are tight because I'm gaining weight. Food is comforting to me and provides me with a temporary escape from my reality.
I lost motivation to do the things I used to love--exercise, keep up with the house, socialize, etc. I'm sure this is depression and I just don't know how to get myself out of it. What's worse is that this is just the beginning of the worst of what's expected to happen in my life.
I've tried to enjoy my job and make it work to no avail. I set goals for myself around the house and to get back into the routine I used to have, but I'm inconsistent with it. I just want to get back to my old self. And I want to be able to deal with the crappy hand that life has dealt me. The question remains, how can I do this successfully? I don't know what kind of advice anybody can offer, if any. It just felt good to take the time to write about what has been happening. I know this is a long post, but thanks to all of you who read it. I guess I just needed to vent
Here's hoping that things will get better for all of us on this board