yesterday night I ended up in hospital and I still don't know what's exactly wrong with me...
Since about a year and a half I have these crying attacks. At first they weren't that often, like once a month or so. Recently, since about three months they became way more often and severe. Now it happens once or twice a week and every time they're worse and worse... Last night I couldn't stop crying for over three hours and I had so much anger. I threw my laptop across the room, then my phone and the table as well... Finally I was about to end up my life by taking an overdose, but my boyfriend was there and, for sure, he didn't let me even though I begged him so much.
He called the doctor, they took me to hospital. I talked with a psychiatrists, he gave me some Valium and let me go home. For the moment I no longer feel like suicidal, but I'm sure that I'm going to have another attack sooner or later...
What is it that's happening for me? It doesn't look like a regular depression case, because I don't feel constantly sad... Sometimes I'm happy for a week, and than suddenly I'm down.
It first started when I was in sexually abusive relationship with my ex-boyfriend, then I had abortion, but this was like over a year ago... I doubt if this could be the reason why I'm feeling that bad now.
The following 2 users give hugs of support to: Dovile flamesabers (11-18-2012), Phoenix (11-19-2012)
Is there anything in particular that triggers the crying attacks?
I don't think you have to have all the common symptoms of depression in order to be depressed. Even if you're not suffering from depression, I think it's clear something is upsetting you and I think that's reason enough to seek treatment.
You may be able to get a diagnosis after spending more time with your psychiatrist or perhaps by talking to a therapist. In any case, I think what's most crucial is you stick to your treatment plan and get help if you're having problems with the Valium or you feel another crying attack is coming.
I hope you're feeling more at ease and more like yourself soon.
The following user gives a hug of support to flamesabers: Phoenix (11-19-2012)
It sounds to me like you should probably try to find a therapist you can talk to. I'm guessing that deep down inside (subconscious level) you're angry, confusing and maybe depressed about what happened in your life you described. On another level, you almost sound like the definition of "manic" depression. You know, the highs and lows and eventually the lows get lower and more frequent. Please look for some help and get this sorted out. Life is too short to not live it the best you can and right now, it sure doesn't sound like you're enjoying things all that much. I really wish you all the Best!