Re: So sad
I am so sorry you are having these tough times. I grew up with a sister with schizophrenia and a bi-polar brother. There were days when I really didn't know where to turn, and I also had lots of financial difficulties. You are not alone. One thing that helped me overcome my issues was getting and keeping a part time job. In the beginning a full time job was much too stressful, but since I was so lonely a part time job gave me social interaction, more money and built up my self esteem. Eventually I was able to hold a full time job, and once I was able to support myself I had greatly improved self esteem. Remember that no job is a bad job, as long as you get a paycheck. It will also help create a schedule and routine which is important.
Remember to create a healthy routine for yourself. Take a shower every day, eat regularly (I know this one is hard if you have no funds), and take a short walk every day. A public library is a great place to get away from your house for free. You can read novels to relax your mind and get away from things for awhile.
It has been 30 years since I was in your shoes, and I have built a solid life (great job and income, married, two children). The best feeling I ever had in my life though was when I had my own small apartment, all to myself, with no relatives who could create havoc or stress. It is heaven. Please let us know how you are doing and wish you well on your journey.