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Old 01-31-2013, 03:59 PM   #1
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Question depression or just in my head?

I am a mother of 3 boys (9, 5, 3). My two oldest are in school full time, while I am a stay at home mom for my 3 year old. Lately I have been very irritated with everything. Every little sound frustrates me. I have a older dog as well that has a really bad time at listening to anything. And I dont like to say but my kids have a bad habit of that as well. I get very frustrated with them. I tend to yell a lot and at times I want to shut myself in a room and stay in there to avoid everything. My husband works nights, so he sleeps during the day and is gone at night. He is off on the weekends, but I dont feel he helps me out like I would like with the kids when he is home. At times I feel very depressed, but my husband don't. I try to talk to him about the problem I think I have and he dont think depression is a real thing. What do I do? I dont like to be angry, ecspecially towards my children who I would take a bullet for. I recently found out I have a heart problem and stress is not good to have. I need help.

 
Old 02-01-2013, 04:19 PM   #2
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Re: depression or just in my head?

Hello AndreaJ813.

A lot of what you wrote sounds like possible symptoms of depression I think. Speaking from my own experience, depression is very real and can make you feel like life is miserable and pointless. If possible, I would suggest going to a doctor or therapist to explore your treatment options.

 
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Old 02-02-2013, 03:12 PM   #3
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Re: depression or just in my head?

hi,

as flamesabers said, depression is indeed very real, the best description ive heard of its effects have to be from a video that there was a therapist giving a lecture to a large audience and it went something like this

"...depression has a major physical and psychological effect on ones body, think of it as if one animal has been attacked by a large animal, that animal that was attacked now does not have joy on its menu, instead it is crippled thinking only of survival, only the basic needs, moving becomes too much of a chore, drinking and eating become less and less only reaching the bare minimum of what it needs, and lots of other activities follow, depression is in many ways the same, its as if you have just been attacked by that animal and now you do the bare minimum to stay alive..."

this is not ment to scare you in any way shape or form, just as someone who deals with this every day, i know what it feels like and i would love for you to catch this before it escalates, like flamesabers said, it is very reminiscent of depression and in my opinion it would be best to get help asap. one thing that people have told me is to just try to keep your head up, i try to follow that to the best of my abilities and i would strive you to do the same, even though it feels like things are getting worse.

sorry for the wall of text but i hope this helps :s

 
Old 02-02-2013, 06:41 PM   #4
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Re: depression or just in my head?

You have a big job on your shoulders, raising three young children, no doubt about that. Parenting puts huge demands on you 24/7, which can be enough to overwhelm and create depression in women. A great balance between mom and dad is very important in giving mom a sense of appreciation and a regular refuge to regroup and re-energize. As an older mom, who raised two sons by myself, I recognize the pressures that can build when we do not build ourselves an escape valve. It can be so easy to go along full steam ahead, and then one day to realize you need to pull your hair out and scream!

There is great help out there both in helpful medications, and lot of support from other folks who are in the same boat. Do not forget the great value in sharing with others who are struggling with the same things...other moms.

Using medication is a highly personal decision, but one I do recommend an honest try with. Once you can rise out of the chemical imbalance that occurs in our brains, once depression sets in, we can then add fun to our lives to balance ourselves out again, and create a new life for ourselves, one WE choose and enjoy. The act of making such bold and positive decisions about our own lives and that of our children is so empowering.

Life is so long and to learn to treat ourselves with our families long term health in mind is the greatest gift we can give.

Wishing you well...

Last edited by growagourd; 02-03-2013 at 08:50 AM.

 
Old 02-09-2013, 05:55 PM   #5
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Re: depression or just in my head?

Quote:
Originally Posted by AndreaJ813 View Post
I am a mother of 3 boys (9, 5, 3). My two oldest are in school full time, while I am a stay at home mom for my 3 year old. Lately I have been very irritated with everything. Every little sound frustrates me. I have a older dog as well that has a really bad time at listening to anything. And I dont like to say but my kids have a bad habit of that as well. I get very frustrated with them. I tend to yell a lot and at times I want to shut myself in a room and stay in there to avoid everything. My husband works nights, so he sleeps during the day and is gone at night. He is off on the weekends, but I dont feel he helps me out like I would like with the kids when he is home. At times I feel very depressed, but my husband don't. I try to talk to him about the problem I think I have and he dont think depression is a real thing. What do I do? I dont like to be angry, ecspecially towards my children who I would take a bullet for. I recently found out I have a heart problem and stress is not good to have. I need help.
I can relate to how you feel. Being a SAHM can be and sometimes feels like a thankless job. It can also be isolating (at least that is how I feel sometimes). When my dh comes home, he is tired from his stressful day and he likes to relax by going on the computer and catching up on daily news, sports related stuff, etc. Whereas, all I want, is someone to talk to, an "adult" to talk to, because I don't really have that all day, as I give all I can to my kids and family, and I feel like I come last sometimes.

When I worked outside of the home, as much as it was stressful at times, I had that social connection, which is what I now miss.

Have you thought about doing something for yourself, such as taking a general interest course, even if it meant going out one eve. a week or a weekend course (whatever interests you). I joined a gym and snuck out 2 mornings a week. My gym offered daycare.
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Old 02-09-2013, 07:00 PM   #6
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Re: depression or just in my head?

Depression is a very real thing. Just because your husband doesn't believe it actually exists , please don't stop looking for a solution and answers to how you've been feeling. By acknowledging that something is not quite right with the way you feel is a great first step. You need to find a professional to speak with. It might be something that it is a matter of you being overwhelmed and not ever feeling like you get a break...like you don't have a support system. Like someone else said, medication is a personal choice, if needed it can have some great benefits. Perhaps your husband needs to have the kids all day long on a weekend to see what you have been feeling ( you of course would need to not be home and could actually take that time to recharge your batteries..... A massage, a manicure/pedicure, a movie....whatever it is you find fun to do). Unfortunately things get taken out on the children because they are there....but don't deserve it. You deserve better for yourself so you can be the best wife, mother and woman . Speak to someone, you will feel better when you do. Good luck.

 
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