| | How to Get Spouse to Understand
I'm new here and need some help in regards to my spouse.
I've been dealing with depression for years. I started taking meds when I found out I couldn't have kids and needed many, many surgeries. My female health has never been a picnic, but throughout it, I managed to keep my emotions in check. I have a spouse who doesn't know how to be supportive and thinks I'm using my constant health issues and my depression as an excuse not to do things.
He's never bought a book or did research on depression to figure out how to help me...I always have to ask for help and I'm sick of it. Living with a spouse who doesn't notice anything (new haircut, cleaned garage, changed flat tire on a trailer, shoveled the driveway etc...) is hard enough, but throw depression into the mix and it's like gas on a flame. I think years of suppressing my feelings made me loose it this weekend, because I haven't spoken to him since Saturday after a stupid argument. Instead of him trying to figure out what was wrong, he became confrontational.
I used to be a romantic person but he sucked all that out of me with his lack of caring, so birthdays, Christmas, anniversaries go uncelebrated. I feel like I've given up so much of who I am to him that I don't even know what I'm supposed to be anymore. I tried to convince myself and everyone I know that I'm OK with my depression, but I'm not. I don't have any friends as I've moved two years ago and my family live 6 hours away. I don't know what to do anymore. I give and give and have nothing left.
My husband is too logical and not very emotional and as depression is an illness that affects your emotions, how do I talk to him. How do I ask for help without pointing the finger at him? Any help from men would be appreciated because I clearly don't know how you guys tick.