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Old 06-09-2013, 12:03 PM   #1
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Angry Stupid things people say to a depressed person.

I'm sure you've all heard them before..

"Snap out of your depression! You're 18 years old! Time to act like it!" - wait, what? So being depressed makes me 'immature' and 'childish'? Also, I WOULD snap out of it if I could.

"Quit being depressed! Be happy instead!" - Yeah, because that's SO easy to do when you're severely depressed, right?

"It's all in your head!" - ... no comment.

I have bi-polar disorder, and someone wrote to me saying 'change yourself, and quit it with your 'stupid' disorder' a few weeks ago. OMG. You can imagine how angry I was upon hearing this, can't you?

Those are just some things I have been told recently, and I am curious to hear about the stupid things people have said to you when you're depressed.

I'm sorry by the way, this is more of a vent post than anything else. Again, I apologise.

 
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Old 06-15-2013, 06:25 PM   #2
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Rls1994 View Post
I'm sure you've all heard them before..

"Snap out of your depression! You're 18 years old! Time to act like it!" - wait, what? So being depressed makes me 'immature' and 'childish'? Also, I WOULD snap out of it if I could.

"Quit being depressed! Be happy instead!" - Yeah, because that's SO easy to do when you're severely depressed, right?

"It's all in your head!" - ... no comment.

I have bi-polar disorder, and someone wrote to me saying 'change yourself, and quit it with your 'stupid' disorder' a few weeks ago. OMG. You can imagine how angry I was upon hearing this, can't you?

Those are just some things I have been told recently, and I am curious to hear about the stupid things people have said to you when you're depressed.

I'm sorry by the way, this is more of a vent post than anything else. Again, I apologise.
Ah, yes. The old "be happy!" solution.

I, too, have bipolar and am having a particularly hard day today because I've been dwelling too much on crap like this that someone (an ex, which is why he's an ex) said to me recently. He accused me of "inventing" things to be upset about. Anytime I would try and explain bipolar to him he'd go "Well isn't that just sort of the typical way women react?" NO, you misogynistic a-hole.

The way people talk to the depressed sometimes can really exacerbate the situation. It makes me want to just hide away in my house sometimes and never talk to anyone when I'm feeling down.

The best one I heard once was when I was walking into a grocery store and must have had a particularly long face. Some stranger said "Cheer up! It can't be THAT bad!" Oh, did I ask you? NO. Eff. Off.

:-/

 
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Old 06-21-2013, 10:01 PM   #3
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Re: Stupid things people say to a depressed person.

I've gotten, "I was depressed once." "Are you just going to p*** and moan?" That second one was from a support group which you would think would be supportive.

 
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Old 06-23-2013, 10:10 PM   #4
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Re: Stupid things people say to a depressed person.

Ugh, yes, I hear them all the time. The one that gets me the most?
"It could be worse."
I think that one gets me the most because it can go both ways; it could also be better!

It's just so frustrating.

 
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Old 06-23-2013, 10:11 PM   #5
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Re: Stupid things people say to a depressed person.

Ugh, yes, I hear them all the time. The one that gets me the most?
"It could be worse."
I think that one gets me the most because it can go both ways; it could also be better!

It's just so frustrating.

 
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Old 06-23-2013, 10:33 PM   #6
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Re: Stupid things people say to a depressed person.

Dear Rls1994, do you take medicine to handle it? I understand you try to find support here about people who constantly repeating things that you can not do. But you should learn how to live with it. And I know it's not easy. But you're 18 and you have a very long way to go. I will tell you things help me, maybe those help you too. 1st of all get proper treatment and always take your pills, tell your doctor to give you some serotonin based medicine when you have depression period, it will boost your mood 50%...the rest 50% is in your hands. Actually, in your point of view to world and to your life... for example, me... I don't tell myself, ahhhh I am bipolar and that's finished, I can not get rid of this depression anyway, and lets drawn in it.. NO!!! Never!!! You should know that chemical disorder in your brain fixes medicine and 2nd thing to do is to change your behavioral reactions and acts!!! Being bipolar makes you to be stronger and have much more bigger will power than other people has. !st things is, you can not and should not use being bipolar as excuse, you need to work on your thought, never let bad, negative thoughts to come across your mind, shortly, you need to be more in control of your thought!!! It's all about how to control your thought and change your all the time moaning talks to people. People may love you, but they really dont understand you, coz they dont suffer from what you do. and maybe you will complain and talk negative about life to him for a 1 year, 2 year but always at the end of sotry they just fed up & leave or just starting to tell you what makes me so mad that you wrote this post, yes, exactly, they will start to tell you "just be happy", you know why, it's not their fault, it's just becoz you complained enough to them and all their advises and talks didnt help to you, so they have no anymore any suggestions to you, besides to tell you, be happy!!!

 
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Old 06-23-2013, 10:56 PM   #7
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Re: Stupid things people say to a depressed person.

You should not consider people stupid & blame them. Actually, they are mostly not. Know that people's attitude to you is reflection of your own attitude. You're 18, and maybe you still dont understand, but people don't owe you anything, NO ONE!!! Not your friends, nor any1 in your life. They just with you coz they love you. But bipolar people tend to push people away from themselves or doing it coz of their depressions. For example, me... I pushed away whole my friends, family, everyone before I stayed alone...and those who stayed with me, they just start to see through me. coz I alwaaays been telling them crap, like... "Oh my god...look at the weather, ohh damn I hate this weather, its gloomy, I feel depressed, I dont want go out of bed, noooo it's end of my life, noooo I dont wanna live anymore, what's a meaning of this life, anyway nothing will be better, bla bla bla bla... and can u imagine everyday the same thing, the same thing, and after all they just told me, not openly, but with their attitude, "you know what?! f..ck off with your always negative mood"...People do really fed up of this, believe me... Now it's 2 years that I control my thoughts, I fully understand my sickness and I understand that my life is in my hands, not in the hands of stupid chemical disorder or depression. I am in control of my each thought every second, I just put into my brain some kinda anti-virus program... any negative thought is trying get into my head, I just dont let it.. I close my eyes, breath deeply in and out for a minute...and telling myself, "it's just chemical disorder in your brain, nothing more, you need to understand that your depression is not real and it's caused not by external factors but internal, you're just bipolar, and bipolar people 80% having these crap thought, calm down and move on, keep on, keep on". And I focus on something positive, or just forcing myself to say good things or if no1 next to me, I just keep smiling, smiling and remembering all good things happened and will happen in my life, or just meditating deep breathing and not letting any thought come to my mind, just blocking all thought for 5 minute. I hope what I wrote, these tricks I learnt for 30 years, will help you!!! also, want to tell you that you should not feel yourself alone or trapped, many people suffer from this and they just learn to live with this and be productive, have many friends and everything... So Good Luck to you in knowing, cognizing yourself.

 
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Old 07-21-2013, 03:24 PM   #8
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Re: Stupid things people say to a depressed person.

Glad to see that SOME people can relate. I didn't call anyone 'stupid' anyway, I said stupid THINGS people say to a depressed person. I have so many reasons why I am depressed, but I am not writing everything here. It will take too long.. Being 'happy' is easier said than done. Do you really think that I choose to be this way? Do you really think I like spending my days down and miserable? NO. I hate how people think that my depression is all my fault entirely, when depression is NO one's fault.. Sure, I could be handling it a bit better but you know what? I don't know what will make me happy anymore. Nothing makes me happy anymore.

 
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Old 07-31-2013, 08:41 AM   #9
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Re: Stupid things people say to a depressed person.

I know what you mean. My depression is stress related. Too much stress for too many years with no support. I'm the type that fakes a smile and says I'm fine when clearly I'm not. 'Things have to get better' or 'Things could be worse'. Yeah well life likes to laugh and prove to me things can be worse. 'Look _____ they had _____ tragedy and they survived.'. Well I'm not them, they are stronger and obviosly a better person because they handled it. Maybe they have support? I'm alone except a teen daughter who is great but getting sick of a
Mom who can't get up out of bed. Elderly mother who means well but butts in too much and makes me feel guilty if I leave the house for 2 hours to get groceries. That's my support system. Don't try to act like you know my life and tell me to be positive. Tried that, go to bed saying I'm going to have a good day and EVERY single time Life laughs and throws me a curveball. Given up even trying to be happy about anything because Life punishes me. By 'you' I mean people in general, no one in particular. Just saying I agree with the stupid things people say. Just leave me alone when you ask how I am and I fake smile, say fine. We both know I'm lying but we also both know you don't care so don't try to fix me by saying some stupid positive saying. Now back to bed to cover my head and try to forget my life sucks and has fallen completely apart. Lost job, lost marriage, losing house, lost my dear dog who used to make me feel a little better, lost my health to stress, losing daughter because she is tired of me being this way, lost my smile, lost my patience, lost my will. But yeah, you telling me to think positive that will help sooo much!

 
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