Anyone relate to these feelings?
Hey guys, So I've never been on any website like this, So I'm not quite sure how they work. But I decided tonight that I just need to know that someone, anyone out there feels the way I am. I feel like every day is a constant battle. Some days are better, and I just tell myself I'm going through a rut, but other days I just lay in bed and cry for no reason. For along time, I've felt like my depression and anxiety has gotten so bad, that it has literally changed who I am. I used to be a funny, silly, goofy girl. I was in no way ever cocky, but I used to love who I was. Used to really love who I was as a person, I used to be a very strong person. I knew what I did and didn't like, I would speak my mind, and I was very open. Always the person you want to talk to. I was always very confident in who I was. But in the past two years or so I was very involved in partying and drug use. And not happy with what I was doing, so I changed my ways. And now I know I am doing better things for myself. But for some reason, I feel so disconnect from the world, from my life. I don't how to be myself anymore, because I don't know who that is. I literally rarely truly enjoy anything I do. Even things I love, the only things I do enjoy is spending time alone. I almost dread hanging out with friends or my sister for that matter. Its draining, and by the time I get home and I'm alone again Im broken. Thoughts of how I am now, and how I used to be burst through me. I can feel even my closest, longest friends pulling away from me. Because I've become this empty shell of who I used to be. I just want to be happy again, and I keep telling myself its going to get better.. Ive become this person, who is always over thinking things. I don't know how to be myself and that makes me feel like Im just one big fake of a person now. I used to be talkative and fun, now my mind is just blank. There's nothing in there, only the yearn to get home and be myself and not have to talk to people. But I have never been this kind of person, I have always been a very positive, happy go lucky girl. Im just so sick of this, I hate being trapped in my head all day. I guess to get to the point, is there anyone out there who is going through this? Or has gotten through this? I just need some advice, help, just something to know that I'm not alone. I have never been diagnosed with depression or anxiety. But I know these feelings are not just a passing through, it does run in my family.