Hubby Just Diagnosed - kinda scared here - Diabetes Message Board

YadaYada · 06-11-2002, 08:58 AM

My obese hubby, 51 yrs old, was undergoing pre-surgery testing before knee replacement surgery. The doctor just called him and told him he is diabetic. We are going to see the doctor NEXT Monday, June 17 to discuss this.

This disease scares the bejeebers out of me. I don't know much about it, except that a friend of mine had her legs amputated and died anyway.

My husband sleeps a lot -- has to have his nap, and we have often thought he was hypoglycemic as he gets very lightheaded and unstable sometimes if he doesn't eat - even though he weighs well over 300 pounds. There is a history of diabetes in his family and he had been tested before and never got a positive result.

He LIVES for food and everytime we have tried to diet he throws a major fit and says whats the point of living if I can't enjoy food--- yada yada yada. He recently was put on Zoloft because of severe anger and anxiety and it has helped, but now I wonder about taking that with the diabetes.

I just don't know anything about the disease, and frankly, I'm scared to go searching for information.

I'm at work and my boss walked by my office and saw me crying and now there is whispering all through the office!

My husband irritates the tar out of me, but I love him dearly and we should have a lot of years ahead of us yet. But I know that if he has to have his legs amputated, he will kill himself. He refuses to live that way. We've lost two children and I can't lose him too. I'm rambling and I need to stop.

Does anyone have any suggestions for me? What the different types of diabetes? Where can I find accurate and easy to understand information on this disease? I'd like to take it with me when we see the doctor next week.

Thank you everyone.
Damn, my eyes are leaking again!

mlgable · 06-11-2002, 09:28 AM

Go to the American Diabetes Assoc. website at this link. [url="http://www.diabetes.org/main/application/commercewf"]http://www.diabetes.org/main/application/commercewf[/url]
This will give you accurate and straight forward information. People who loose their legs to diabetes are quite often people who didn't take care of their diabetes and develped sores or circulatory problems that can take longer to heal etc in diabetics. You mentioned your husband not liking diets and living for food but yet I would assume you do the cooking. All this will mean is that you need to make wiser choices as the super market so that you can put better choices of food on the table for meals. It does not have to mean the end of eating nor the end of his life just because he is a diabetic. If he snacks a lot you will have to choose better snacks to keep in the house. Once you see the doctor he will probably set up an appointment with a registered dietician and/or a diabetic nurse who will help you sort all of this out. Look for and join a diabetic support group in your area. Also remember there are a great many people out there that are probably diabetic and you would never know it. Many people you are close to especially co-workers may have diabetes and you don't even know it. Diabetes is only a death sentence if you make it that and since you have a very supportive doc working with your husband plus one who knows his mental/emotional behavior I think things will work out ok. Also if your husband loses some of that weight via better eating habits he may wind up with normal or near normal blood sugars and need nothing more that diet to control his diabetes. Please post again if you have any specific questions or concerns. Someone is always here to listen and offer a suggestion or two.

MikelBear · 06-11-2002, 06:04 PM

Your husband's long love affair with food MUST MUST MUST come to a very quick end. Period, end of discussion. If he can't figure out what the point of living is without his food, he'll die soon enough, and I am NOT kidding. Other than clean living--lots of heavy, regular exercise, a very reduced, healthy diet with leafy veggies, whole grains with low fats, low carbohydrates, everything in strict moderation--and testing blood sugar several times each day, plus whatever medications the doctors prescribe--OTHER than these rather overwhelming life-style changes, and a damned improved attitude--you husband should have no problems. Failing to adjust will lead to blindness, kidney failure, amputations and death. I've been diabetic for 37 years. It's not easy and it's not fun, and it never gets much easier. But what's the choice. I prefer a life with restrictions over slow death--I have a career, children and a wife to live for, food is way down on the list. Tell him to quit the whining, get his priorities straight and face it!!

Michael, type 1 since 1965, 40,000 shots into it...

[This message has been edited by MikelBear (edited 06-11-2002).]

saskia99 · 06-11-2002, 10:24 PM

Excuse me mlgable...I have had disbetes for almost 35 years and I have lost a leg and I have had a kidney transplant and have bad eyes because of it....I dint ask to get it ..it chose me.

Yes this fellow needs to shape up...but be kinder...someone who is obese ...s;eeps a lot..probably has high bloodsugars...so he will eat eat and eat...he cant help it with the highs he has...he will only succeed if he gets meds and watches what he eats and he cant do that without any help

saskia
bka

YadaYada · 06-13-2002, 11:44 AM

Thank you everyone. This is all so very scary for us, but one thing you all have said is to fight & eat right.

Hubby woke up in a cold sweat last night because he dreamed he had a leg amputated.

I am so horrified by that and I feel so bad for those of you who have already suffered this or are nearing it. I just can't imagine.

I'm also VERY impressed with all of you at how you deal with this and live, and I'm very encouraged by the fact that it doesn't shorten your life -- it's not like a disease that only gives one a few months to live. Well, at least not usually.

I'm so much in turmoil and one of the normal human reactions to crisis is to find someone or something to blame -- even though that never changes anything.

I am angry that he wasn't diagnosed years ago when we went to doctors and asked about diabetes -- especially since it runs in his family. We thought maybe hyperglycemia {sp} because he would get wobbly and weak if he didn't eat for a few hours and he has/had "splotchey" places on his legs. The doctor looked at his legs and just said "water retention" and that was it. They never really tested for diabetes and brushed off the hyperglycemia. NO ONE ever told us that there is something similar within diabetes!!! NO ONE ever really tested FOR diabetes even though we asked them too! I hate HMO's!!!!

He has obviously had this for a very long time judging by how long he has had the symptoms. The crap part is, the first doctor we went to, the one that brushed off the idea of hyperglycemia and didn't test (properly or at all?) for diabetes, is the one we are having to go to now, and who FINALLLY diagnosed it -- only because the surgeon for the knee replacement requested it during pre-surgery testing!!! That's who we are meeting on Monday and I am sure going to ask for a copy of ALL of John's medical records from him and ask him why he didn't diagnose this earlier? I'll (try) to be polite about it, but I'm upset. I won't scream, but I may cry and feel angry.

I'm getting my shouting out on this board! Sorry everyone, but I have a feeling you all know how I feel and I hope you can excuse the venting.

After my children died I didn't think I would ever be afraid again. I was wrong. I was so wrong.