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Old 11-16-2006, 02:39 PM   #1
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Help! My husband has diabetes and he doesn't care

Help me! My husband has had diabetes for about 14yrs. He is 47yrs old, a smoker (smokes about 1-2packs) and drinks every day (2-4 six packs a day). He doesn't eat right nor does he take his meds right. When his meds run out he sometimes wait weeks before he even tells me he's out. When he starts feeling funny then he tells me. He doesn't eat breakfast, may eat good for lunch, and when he gets home he drinks and smokes until he gets ready for bed. Then he may eat a sandwich or some dinner. I have talked to him unitl I can't anymore. He just doesn't care. His feet hurt, burn, and ache all night. I rub them but it only helps for a little while. Any suggestions on handling a hard-headed man?

 
Old 11-16-2006, 04:09 PM   #2
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Re: Help! My husband has diabetes and he doesn't care

It is hard when a person with diabetes does not care. There is little if anything the spouse can do about it. The diabetic person is the only one that can do anything about their disease.

It is hard on rest of the family, but your hands are tied.

 
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Old 11-18-2006, 11:43 AM   #3
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Re: Help! My husband has diabetes and he doesn't care

Ive got to admit that i once went through that stage. But suddenly decided life was worth living. If only your husband could do the same thing, then he might look after himself.

 
Old 11-20-2006, 01:45 AM   #4
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Re: Help! My husband has diabetes and he doesn't care

Tell him about Dialysis<--when I first learned about it, I was so paranoid about blood sugar levels I'd account for mints and gum.

A few (and this is only a few) of long term results of not having control over your diabetes is Dialysis (you'll go to the doctors every day or every other day, when there they put lots of needles in you all over and clean out your blood. Its time consuming and painful. Dialysis can occur if he loses his kidneys, which he can easily damage with all that beer. And don't even get me started on his liver. Also constant high blood sugar levels can result in losing your eyesight and losing feeling in your limbs and amputation.

Have you told him those effects? If not tell him that his lack of control will result in his diabetes wearing out his body and taking over his life more than if he had just ate a bit better and took his pills. He could be limited in movement and more than likely confined to a wheelchair/scooter.

If this doesn't or hasn't worked...i think it's time to bring in the big guns. talk to his doctor. tell the doc about his ignorance and suggest the doctor tell your husband that he IS having kidney issues or something along the lines of that and then jave the doctor detail the gory experience of removing the kidneys/transplant and dialysis, and any other unpleasant experience with those. maybe coming from the doctor that he is sick and could potentionally die in the not too disant future and will have to pay/endure a lot for the rest of his life will scare him so much he'll break down and take his meds. It maybe mean to sort of have the doc lie at first and say those things, but maybe hearing from a professional can convince your stubborn husband. And it'll probably sabe his life or give his life higher quality in the long run. Desperate times call for desperate measures. And not taking meds that can keep you healthy/eating right just because you don't want to is what I would definately consider desperate times.

 
Old 11-20-2006, 05:42 AM   #5
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Re: Help! My husband has diabetes and he doesn't care

Sorry, but I have to absolutely disagree with Madison. DO NOT THREATEN HIM! That is probably the worst thing you can do. All you will be doing is setting yourself up as the enemy and then he won't accept help from you when he needs it. Besides, if he doesn't care about himself, the threat of dialysis, which he is not on right now anyway, won't make any difference to him.

See if you can talk to his doctor. It is possible that he is also suffering from depression. It is common in people with diabetes. It has nothing to do with an inability to cope. Rather it is a biochemical issue that meds can deal with quite effectively.

The bottom line is that there isn't really anything you can do to make him take care of himself. You might try *****ing your finger too, when you want him to test. But the bottom line is that you can only support him once he gets into trouble. In the meantime, love him and let him know that you care. Sorry, but it's the best you can do. You might also want to try to find a support group for yourself. That will help you deal with the tremendous stress you are under.

Cora
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Cora
Dxd T1 1966, 2001 dialysis, 2002 kidney transplant, 2003 insulin pump, 2008 pancreas transplant

 
Old 11-20-2006, 01:41 PM   #6
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Re: Help! My husband has diabetes and he doesn't care

I agree with Cora. I have been dealing with this situation for 25 years. I've learned that threatening him doesn't work AT ALL. It just alienates him so he rejects ALL my efforts to help. So instead I encourage him when he does make healthy choices and say nothing (but don't help him) when he makes bad choices. If he doesn't want to join me in a bowl of rasin bran with equal and skim milk for breakfast (I'm diabetic, too) that's fine, but I'm not going to make him the plate of pancakes with sausage he wants! It's hard to watch him do this to himself, but I'm not his mother, I'm his partner. Being diabetic can make a person feel powerless and nagging him just makes him feel less in control. Good luck!

Last edited by moderator2; 11-20-2006 at 06:47 PM. Reason: promoting other forum(s)

 
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