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Old 03-09-2004, 02:10 PM   #1
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QweenyBluEyes HB User
Losing weight with stress, and pressuring friends

This time of year, last year I weighed 125. I know I was not a stick because I fit into size 5 jeans. Now I weigh 140 and I'm more into size 7. I want to go back down to a 3. I am currently 17 and I live with my parents who try to eat healthy, but always have lots of food around the house, and some not so good because of my brother who doesnt like health food.

I really started gaining weight since I broke up with my boyfriend around the beginning of October last year. He thought I cheated on him, which I didnt do AT ALL. And he says that I have a heart of stone. Although I'm the one who broke up with him, and hes told me he still loves me. But that caused me lots of stress. And then there is the new job I got, at the beginning of October. It put stress in my life also... and I live in one of the most stressful cities to have a job in the US according to the news.



But now I have recently made new friends who are a bit overweight, and do not eat healthy whatsoever. Like egg, sausage, and bisquits or pancakes for breakfast.. hamburger, fries, and milkshake for lunch.. maybe a hotdog or chili or something like that for dinner. Maybe a trip to DQ in between, or to Starbucks... or the grocery store to buy candy. But now, when I hang out with them, that is all I can eat. I end up bringing my own food, but then they always find a way to make me eat something unhealthy. For instance... I talk to this one guy who likes me, and he says that he wants to buy me something (IN the candy isle!) and I tell him I dont eat candy and no thank you. Hes like, comon just tell me what you like.. I say no. And he says if I don't eat what he buys he will be mad! After about 10 minutes of that I tell him, that I dont want him buying me anything, and I will not eat it if he does and its his fault if he feels bad because I told him I didnt want anything. He did that in starbucks also. Plus in the beginning, him and a couple of my girlfriends when to the grocery store to buy candy, and they asked me if I wanted anything. I said no of course. But he ended up asking them what I like there and he brought me back two candy bars and a big bag of rolo minis and told me to eat them and if I didnt he would feel bad. I ended up eating half a candy bar and soon after felt very tired and emotional. Hes done this about 5 times now. Plus a good friend of mine who is a friend of his made cookies one day and told me to eat one otherwise she would feel bad. Its like they are TRYING to make me eat bad food. And after I hang out with them I get so stressed I end up eating bad anyways. Such as grabbing the peanut butter jar and eating about 4 tblsp and/or a bowl of cereal.


I've had days where I eat a normal balanced diet and I feel great.. but I can never do that for more than a day or two because something stressful or emotions come into my life that put me off.

What should I do?? I would really like to lose this weight!
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Old 03-09-2004, 02:30 PM   #2
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Re: Losing weight with stress, and pressuring friends

Don't worry, you're not the only one. My family doesn't eat healthily, and they usually try to foist food upon me when I come home on weekends to visit. (my younger sister actually full body tackled me the last time I was home and tried to force feed me some cookies O_O) Not to mention the number of friends that have asked if "that's all I'm going to eat" or told me to "just have a little of this dessert, because I KNOW you want some." As hard as it is, you are doing the right thing by refusing politely, and they should respect your choice. If you still feel like they are pressuring you, you should try explaining to them that you are trying to lose weight/eat healthy and that you don't want anything like candy, but maybe they can get you an apple/single serve yogurt/etc instead if they really want to get you anything. They may just be joking around when they tell you they'll "feel bad." This is going to sound cliche, but if they really are your friends they will respect your decision and support you in it. Who knows, maybe some of them will be so impressed with your resolve that you may have a new partner in your healthy eating program Hope this helps a little. Don't get discouraged.

 
Old 03-09-2004, 03:03 PM   #3
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Re: Losing weight with stress, and pressuring friends

Only thing is, is that I can't talk to them about my wanting to lose weight, because I know they will judge me. They're heavier than I am, and they would just try and talk me out of it. All I can really tell them is that I'm not hungry and/or I'm a health nut. Plus sugar gives me bad symptoms, I get really tired and emotional/mood swings.. and feel horrible altogether.

I want to get fit for the summer, be able to fly to california or something and feel confident in a swimsuit. Its just my ways of eating are completely different from theirs so I try to avoid meals with them at all times possible.
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Old 03-09-2004, 03:25 PM   #4
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Re: Losing weight with stress, and pressuring friends

Just be honest with them, and tell them you are watching your weight or trying to lose. If they get offended, then they are showing their true-self's and they might not be a good friend for you. Then again, they might even go along with you and lose weight themselves. They don't own your body therefore they can not tell you what to eat and when, only you can do that. It sounds to be me like they are being manipulative and that's not cool.

 
Old 03-09-2004, 05:58 PM   #5
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angel85 HB User
Re: Losing weight with stress, and pressuring friends

I totally agree with mugal2003. They do sound like they are being manipulative. I know it's hard, but don't worry about being judged by them, or anybody else really. Honestly, I think the truth is the best route. Let them know your reasons for refusing the candy: you want to lose weight and the sugar affects you negatively. They shouldn't force you to do anything you don't want to do. If they do press the issue, then maybe you should consider what kind of friends they are. Keep your chin up. We're all here for you.

 
Old 03-10-2004, 06:42 AM   #6
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Re: Losing weight with stress, and pressuring friends

i have a similar problem . i started gaining weight when i started going out with friends, who didn't really pressure me, but whose lavish eating kinda made me unhealthy too. so now i'm 147 pounds at 5'7, and i'm not anywhere near fitting snugly into size 7 jeans like you .
last summer though i was able get down to 135 by cutting down on my carbs. since you mentioned that you don't like sugar, i don't think cutting carbs would be a problem for you . i didn't exercise that much more, only walked more than usual for 15 minutes. grr...in winter i totally pigged out and let myself become this chubby again xD. i'm ready to work hard though, and hopefully this time i can get down to a 120 .

 
Old 03-10-2004, 10:31 PM   #7
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QweenyBluEyes HB User
Re: Losing weight with stress, and pressuring friends

Hey, how about losing this extra weight together? Keep eachother motivated, giving eachother tips when we're stuck?
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Old 03-14-2004, 10:14 PM   #8
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Janette* HB User
Re: Losing weight with stress, and pressuring friends

You know what reeally works for me? Simply keeping calories in check... I was never interested in the restrictive diet plans. I want to be able to eat whatever I want! Especially chocolate... what diet plan allows you to eat chocolate? lol..

Anyway, I believe that if you stay sensible and realistic with what food you're taking in and stay inbetween 1200-1600 calories every day, weight-loss is easy! The only guidelines I need are: count calories, exercise 3-7x/week, avoid eating too much in one sitting, avoid too many carbs at night. Once you have all of those memorized, you can do it!

Right now I'm working on getting cardio in everyday... Exercise helps soo much with dieting and maintaining. It keeps me positive & motivated (and is obviously very healthful).

I know you already know alot about nutrition (I've seen you post around), but hopefully I helped a little.

 
Old 03-15-2004, 10:34 AM   #9
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prometheus HB User
Re: Losing weight with stress, and pressuring friends

Unfortunately, eating healthy is despised by the majority of people who do not eat healthy. People actually do despise you for it, but that doesn't have to be your problem. You probably have the right idea by saying you're not hungry, etc. I usually just say I can't eat the item in question and politely refuse, though if I'm out with good friends or family for the purpose of dining together then I eat what they are eating, unless I'm providing, because for some reason it is different (morally, ethically, i'm really not sure but it is different) because the act of eating together has meaning. Its like a monk once said "It is better to eat pizza with friends than to eat your sprouts alone". We choose our friends because we have common interests.. because we like to share in eachother. So it is important to choose your friends wisely. If you can't find any other common interests under which to bond than sharing food, then it may be time to seek new companions. They may actually secretly want you to refuse the junk so that they can find it in themselves to do the same, and if they do treat you bad, manipulate you, or let their insecurities mar their once good perception of you, than you may be better off without them. Regardless, you need to make the choice for yourself because you know what is best for yourself and you are the one who has to live with yourself, in your body, in your mind, in your health, not them. Besides, even if you avoid eating with them, and hide the fact that you eat healthy from them, they will see you lose weight, and if they are that type of person such that you need to hide your healthy eating habits from, then they will still react the same when they see you lose weight, because you can't hide that.

 
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