Hi everyone- as some of you may know, I am trying to gain weight, but am having a terrible time fighting the anxiety that surrounds it.
I need to vent right now- I just ate a BIG burrito made with a homemade flour tortilla and filled with charbroiled chicken, black beans, and salsa fresca. Then I ate an apple and a "light 'n creamy" yogurt for dessert. I am very full right now, but I know that it's a good thing and I should be proud of myself. I just can't help but feel TERRIBLE - please give me some encouragement or helpful advice. I don't want to find myself skimping on my next meal just because I feel I overdid it at lunch- I really want to get past this thing!
I am seeking help...but I still feel anxious a lot of the time. I know that will subside with time, but for now, I need to vent about it in order to feel better.
Tonight I ate a huge chocolate chip cookie with hot chocolate for dessert. I am happy I let myself do this, but feeling a little bad at the same time.
Has anyone had any experience with gaining weight? It's so much harder than I ever imagined it would be...both physically AND emotionally...
I definately have had experience with gaining weight- a good 30 lbs to put me in the healthy weight range. I understand the anxiety and uncomfort that comes with the territory, but you just have to keep reminding yourself why youre doing it. Surround yourself with positive images/people/messages and dont let your "bad" thoughts..as in the ones that make you think you need to weigh less.. control you or even get into your head. Vent your frustrations through other things, like art, writing, sewing, knitting, etc- anything to keep yourself busy and not focused on what youre doing. When you do fret, think about your health, first and foremost! And remember- you are not equipped to deal with the anxiety alone, so definately use your therapist/psych to your advantage and let him/her help you to find coping strategies so you can be happy with yourself!
tdot- yes, I am seeking help other than this board. This is just a good place for me to vent my frustrations and seek advice.
girlygirl- thank you for your suggestions. I've been trying hard to get through the uncomfortable feelings (like the ones I had today because I ate a lot more than usual), but it's very frustrating. This morning I had a banana, lowfat cottage cheese, blueberries and a luna bar for breakfast. That's a big breakfast, isn't it? Or is that normal? I feel like I'm just so confused about what is even normal now!!
To answer the previous question, I am 6' and weigh near 135. I guess my goal is to be about 145...Is 10 lbs extremely noticable? Will my clothes feel a lot tighter? That is what I'm scared of - pulling on my jeans one day to realize that they don't fit.
I am keeping my health in mind, though, and reminding myself constantly of what my goal is - to be HEALTHY! So I'm confident that I can get through this...
It great that you are aiming for a healthier weight. Even 145 is low for your height, but I guess you should take in one small gain at a time. To start with your second questin first- ten pounds is not that noticeable. At your current weight, you need much more than ten pounds to look HEALTHY (not FAT, HEALTHY!) As for your clothing fitting differently- depends on where you gain the weight. I gained the weight I did and found most of my clothes didnt change in fit. But some did, and that was tough to get over. My best bet? Throw out, or put away, the clothes you THINK may not fit if you gain weight. Dont test it- just put them away. If you cant throw them out, then hide them in the basement or give them to a friend for a while. It's just that much easier to get over it. When you are (mentally) stronger and ready to deal with it, you can try them on, but only when you know youll be ok no matter what the fit (even though I think youll be pleasantly surprised!).
Your breakfast isnt bad. By that, I mean it is still on the low-ish side for a gaining weight diet. It is completely NORMAL to have that much- but remember youre gaining weight!! When I had to put on weight, I followed (and still do follow this to maintain my weight) a breakfast plan of a glass of milk/juice, a yogurt, a serving of fruit, and an entree (ie/ an omelet with 2 eggs, granola and milk, waffles and syrup, french toast and syrup, a muffin, a bagel and cream cheese or butter, toast and peanut butter, etc). This fills me up and balances out my day (you can even have cottage cheese in place of yogurt if you feel you like it better). Also, I dont know if you do this, but try to eat several times a day as opposed to 3 meals. (I have 3 big meals of about 650 Calories each, and then one snack of 350ish and one snack of 250ish calories.) Hope this helps, and remember to keep getting your feelings out to your therapist/counsellor instead of just letting them build up!! Good Luck and youve done so well already!!
Girlygirl- your advice is really helpful and it's comforting to know that you dealt with the same obstacles. The hardest part for me is throwing caution to the wind and not having a plan at all times. Tonight, for example, I came back from a late class and ate a banana, some apple, and a bunch of nuts. I hadn't planned on that so it's bothering me now, but I know I need to just get over it.
I think at 145 I will be able to remain thin, but still be healthy. If I begin to gain weight now, will I be able to stop it at the point that I want to stop it at?
Also, I have a question about exercise- it makes me feel great and I don't want to give it up completely, but I'm not sure how much is too much (cardio-wise)...? What would you suggest?
Thank you so much again for all of your help.
No problem! I like to help others who could benefit from my experiences.
Stopping at the right weight was a huge concern with me too. But honestly, it is easier than you will ever let yourself believe it to be. Right now, I am maintaining (and have been for a while). And while I do try to eat normally (meaning not so rigidly) I find that if I dont, I tend to eat less and i lose weight (albeit only a couple pounds)! Im sure, as hard as it is to believe now, you will find it harder to keep the weight on than you will keep it off. DOn't worry about what will happen when you reach that weight, just try to reach it and then slowly cut back TEENY bit by TEENY bit until you are able to maintain.
There is nothing wrong with exercising to keep healthy, but make sure youre not doing it to lose weight or burn calories. If so, you should consider looking into a PIlates or Yoga class instead, which doesnt focus so much on EXERCISE as it does being in tune with your body and getting limber,etc. You don't have to give it up, just make sure you eat enough to compensate what you do burn off. This mean that you should have a snack before or after (or both) your workout, ON TOP OF your regular 3 meals and 2 other snacks. Meaning you add more food/ nutritional supplements on the days that you workout. Nutritional supplements (boost, slimfast, ensure) are GREAT ways to ensure you have enough food and they are easy to take in b/c they dont fill you up as much as actual food does. Just dont live off of them, or you might get a bit of diarrhea! (personal experience..) :P
I understand the anxiety that comes with eating unplanned things. But just keep reminding yourself of your goal and that currently you are really NOT healthy. Teaching yourself and coaching yourself through these tough thoughts can really help in the long run. You have a long way to go still and a few nuts and fruits are not going to put 10 lbs on you overnight!! You did well by even letting yourself do that, and when you get over the hurdle of the anxiety that follows, youre home free!
145lbs at 6'0 is still on the very low side of healthy for your weight, but if it works for you then thats great. Keep working towards your goal and keep us posted!
Sorry- I didn't mean to cut that post so short.
I am really happy that stopping at a certain point will not be as hard as I imagine it to be. I imagine trying to put the breaks on a 2 ton semi truck going 80 mph...almost impossible!! Haha.
Will you tell me if this was a bad day today: I woke up sort of late (11ish) so I got a starbux nonfat latte and then when lunchtime rolled around I ate a 6" turkey sub from subway (with avocado) and had a bag of baked lays. As a snack later I had an orange and some peanuts and cashews. Tonight I went out to dinner with a friend and had calamari, an ahi tuna entree, and some wine. Then we went and got big frozen yogurts afterwards with some fat free hot fudge and sprinkles!
I am very full, but I'm trying not to feel bad!! I haven't done any cardio at the gym in about 4 days so tomorrow I think I'm going to run for 30 mins or so...I'm feeling antsy (aka fat and lethargic)!
Do you think I should be eating less carbs or not even thinking about that right now? Sorry for all the questions!!!
That's ok, I understand the feeling of not being sure of anything!
For me, drinking the ensure drinks was good because it is an easy way to make sure i get in enough to gain without feeling ridiculously full. Also, its good for snacks on the run, because then you don't have to grab a chocolate chip cookie and make a mess everywhere. There are also "plus" ones with higher cals, which is good. Basically, they are good because they are balanced nutritionally and provide a good amt of calories without a ton of food. That, and they are also really quite yummy!
Yeah definately don't worry about stopping the gaining. As you gain more weight you'll find you'll hit plateaus where what youre eating STILL isnt enough to gain weight, and you'll have to eat more (Similar to when people lose weight and then stop until they eat less or exercise more).
Overall your day isn't bad. By that I mean it is still fairly low for someone trying to gain weight! I mean, starting with breakfast- it is understandable that you didnt want to eat a lot because lunch would be soon, but you didn't need to get a non fat latte! You are gaining weight, remember! Same with the fat free yogurt after dinner! Your day (even WITH the avacados ) is really low in fat AND carbs, so you shouldn't even concern yourself with that! Next time, for breakfast, get something to go with your full fat coffee- a bagel, muffin, cookie, fruit, yogurt, etc. For lunch- subway is great (really yummy and healthy) just make sure you are getting a hearty sub if you are getting a 6" one. That means if youre getting a veggie sub, turkey/ham/ and "regualr" sub, get a footlong. All subway subs, even the heartier ones, are low in cals and fat, so if you want more, go for it! The baked lays are good too, and you could even add a drink like a (NON DIET) coke or pop, juice, milk, etc. Dinner, again, was light! Fish and veggies! Even if the calamari was fried, it wasn't by any means heavy (even with the wine), but getting the dessert was good (just you dont need fat free!!).
Like I said, overall, your day isnt bad. Im not saying you have to load up of fatty foods or anything, just be aware that what youre eating still isn't very much! Especially breakfast- though I understand if you woke up late- try to get something in there in the morning. You should definately aim for 3 meals a day and 2 snacks, whether a snack is a dessert after dinner or an appetizer beforehand. Enjoy the gaining weight process, even though it is hard- eat whatever you want and DONT be afraid to indulge in ANYTHING!
If you really feel you need to run, then go for it, but dont go nuts. You are in no position to exercise to burn cals/lose weight, so do it only for health reasons or to feel good. Dont feel fat! You are still way too thin!! Hope this helps!
All of the sudden I feel really out of control. It's as if my apetite just got kicked into high gear the past few days. I was never starving myself...I always ate...so it's not as if my body was not having food for a while and is now revving up. I don't understand!
I feel like I am eating so much! And I really feel like I've gained weight. It's as if I passed this emotional plateau and now I just want to eat, eat, eat, and the guilt has subsided. Did you experience this kind of feeling at all?
Like this morning, for example, I had a good sized bowl of cereal and a banana cut up in it, and even though this is "normal," I usually would have contemplated having it for a while. But I just didn't even think twice about it. And I don't feel guilty. I guess this is a good thing, but it's also sort of scary.
I don't know if any of this makes sense...
Last night my best friend and I made dinner -- chicken with a special sauce we concocted, a salad with feta cheese and cranberries, roasted vegetables with olive oil, and homemade bruschetta. And earlier I had eaten a big sandwich for lunch and some snacks - I just feel like I am totally normal now, if not, I am eating MORE and I won't be able to stop!!!
Part of me is sort of happy, actually, but the other part of me is sort of scared.