It seems like you REALLY want to make a change. And your taking the first step by being receptive to this behavior and realising that it isn't healthy. And some people continue on to eat like this, get heavy, diabetes, heart disease and the list goes on. If I were you, i'd read about healthy eating, exercise, and all the benefits that come along with it. Try to do things STEP by STEP without overwhelming yourself and going down to only 1000 calories or something. Each day is a new day, and try to change your eating habits step by step. Instead of grabbing ritz crackers, try to choose something like celery and pb, or fruit etc. ONe step at a time.