jealibeanz

Hey everyone,
I've been trying to recover from anorexia for over a year now. I'm doing pretty well. I know follow a diet of 40% carbs, 30% protein, and 30% fat. Eating that much fat, meat, cheese, eggs, and nuts is quite an accomplishment for someone who used to eat 800 cal a day and hardly any fat.

OK, here's my situation. I'm a swimmer and have a 2 hour swim practice 5 days a week. I use the elliptical machine at my gym for 30 min almost every day. I also lift weights three times a week. I try to eat 2000 calories a day. Mind you, I am hungry on this amount. I want to lose a pound or two. This small amount would just make me look slightly more toned.

However, I feel incredibly guilty eating so much food! I have two sisters. One is most likely leaning toward anorexic. She lost over 20 lbs in a few months and eats very "healthily," aka no fat very little food consisting of fruit and fat free yogurt and a few bites of salad. Anyway, I probably eat twice as much as her right now. I know I'm not over eating because I have toned up a bit this summer, but it's still hard for me to not feel like a pig compared to my sister who eats probably no more than 1200 cal a day. She also exercises about as much as me, just doesn't eat. I don't think she's losing weight anymore becuase she has nothing to lose and she's obviously killed her metabolism. You know... always cold and tired and the signs.

Anyway, I just need some advice and encouragement. Do you think it's OK for me to eat this much? If I try to eat any less I just get terribly hungry and grouchy. Sorry to be so long winded! Thanks for any help! Also, if anyone else has tried this specific ratio of nutrients let me know how you feel and any tips you have. Thanks so much!!!