KimberlyV

I am in need of some major help. I am on this emotional roller coaster that I cannot control and most of it is due to my weight. First of all, I lost weight about 2 years ago, but doing Atkins. I felt great and was proud of myself. However, I burned out, starting eating "normal" and eventually gained most of that weight back. Now I am in a major struggle with myself. I have tried low carbing again, but not to much success. I can't seem to get back on track. A few things about myself, I was diagnosed with Hypothyroidism a few years ago, and had a subtotal parital thyroidectomy. I still have 15% of my thryoid gland and take Synthroid daily. I have read so many places that the best way for a thyroid patient to lose weight is by low carbing. So, now I have it stuck in my head that the only way I am going to lose weight is if I low carb. However, I can't seem to stick to that plan. Also, am I really still hypothroid since my levels all test normal? I do notice when I consume any amount of carbs for lunch, I am so extremely sleepy that I literally have to take a 10 minute nap every day at work. Also, when I eat even a small amount of carbs, such as jelly beans, I can't stop myself. Then I feel guilty, get depressed, and start a binge. I have tried to count calories, but it seems like I have no control when I do that. I have been working out 4 - 6 days per week at a place that is alot like curves and it worked great at first, now it doesn't seem like I am doing so well. I am so just depressed and I don't know how to stop this emotional roller coaster. I want to feel good about myself and love myself, because I know that is what should happen first, but somehow I just can't seem to get that love for myself. I don't know how to figure out what is the best way of eating, simply because like my husband says, I read too much and believe too many things that I hear. What is safe, what is not? What is effective for a lifetime, what is not? How do I discipline myself. If I could just get myself on the wagon again, and start seeing results, it would help so much. But how do I do that without that being my total focus? I am missing out on so much of my daughter's lives because I am so caught up in hating my body. I am so sorry this has become so long, but I need help in a bad way. One other thing, my husband tells me so often that he loves me just as I am, but also tells me how good I look and how sexy I am to him once I have lost the weight. So, I don't really know what he wants from me. Why can't I love myself the way I am? Any suggestions?