A Question for All Aspiring Dr. Phils... - Diet & Nutrition Message Board

Deep_in_Thought · 09-29-2003, 10:54 PM

Dear Aspiring Dr. Phils

,

I am a 24-year-old woman who possesses a college degree. I have been looking for employment for quite some time now. Lately, I have been experiencing a lot of frustration/stress with my job search. Sometimes, I think: "My strategies for locating a job just aren't working...I need to try something new." At other times, I think: "I guess that I just need to keep going. Something has to open up." The first thought that I mentioned has been taking over. I'm getting so tired of waiting around for what seems like nothing...though I will be taking a job-related exam this Saturday (I have taken, and done well on, quite a few now, which is distressing me even more since I'm recieving no job offers from them).

Well, a new thought has been forming in my head lately. It goes something like this: "I don't have a job...I'm not involved in a relationship...and I am young. This means that I don't have anything tying me down. I can easily move to wherever I choose. I can shape my life in whatever way I want to. My life can't get much worse than this, so what have I got to lose if I pick everything up and go somewhere else?" The question that I ask myself at the end of this thought echoes something that I heard Dr. Phil ask someone on television once...or twice

.

Inevitably, my logical side takes over and says, "Where are you going to go? What are you going to do for money? Etc..." I suppose this is a mixed blessing, as I sometimes go to the extreme end, and think that I could just live on the street or something. That is, part of it seems to be fueled by depression, while some of it is fueled by a real desire to just make it on my own...once and for all.

As Dr. Phil, what would you suggest? What would you say to me?

Colleen

Absinthe · 09-30-2003, 07:38 AM

I say take a few risks, but be smart about it. When I was younger and in a similar situation, I joined the Air Force. They taught me electronics and paid for my AS degree and open doors to new experiences.

I soon got sick of the restrictive lifestyle, so I got out as soon as I could and found work overseas. I went to Greenland and then to the Bahamas working on government contracts. I made decent money - it's tax free if you live the majority of the year overseas.

You may not be interested in the military, but look into government contracting. Be smart and read ALL the fine print if you do decide to go with a contract. It was a great experience for me.

Luck!

sarah1104 · 09-30-2003, 09:31 PM

Well I certainly am no Dr. Phil but I can give you my own experiences with the Job Search. I am also 24 (25 soon ahhh!!! Scary...) and graduated from college a year ago in May. I too was struggling to even know WHAT i wanted to do, much less how to go about getting a job that I enjoyed and that payed ok and on a regular basis (i was waitressing so the money can be unreliable).

Personally, I just went out and applied online for anything and everything that looked even remotely interesting to me. I know it sounds silly but I found that even if I wasn't really interested in the job I got experience in interviewing, plus you never know, that one job description that sounded boring might accutally be what you are looking for.

I even went ahead and interviewed with a staffing firm. It seemed really lame to me but thats how I ended up in my current job which I LOVE. Lots of places with really interesting jobs will hire staffers to keep the number of applicants down. (jUst watch out for the (I wont mention which) rental car company that pays these firms to staff them with fresh-out-of-college "managers"... every staffing firm I spoke to was trying to get me roped into this job. I told them I had already applied for that job but wasnt really interested and this got them off my back.)

Back on track here...The bottom line is, don't get discouraged, apply apply apply, you can always turn something down and you never know when something good might fall in your lap.

Finally, be open minded. If you can, try to avoid limiting yourself to what you want to do. I told my recruiter that I would do anything if it was in a field I was really interested in, I would even get someones coffee every morning if it would lead to advancement in something that I love. In return, I work for a great company and I know I am a valuable resource to them as well because I enjoy what I do and put lots of energy and enthusiasm into doing it right.
(bonus... i dont acutally have to get coffee

)

Hope this helps you!!

Sarah

[This message has been edited by sarah1104 (edited 09-30-2003).]

DrEinstein22 · 10-04-2003, 04:23 PM

Hey,
Wow...this can be a short or long response. I'll try to be quick.
First of all, I am a 22 year old male college student and a good university. I plan on getting my masters right afterward, then to my doctorate. My goal is to be a professor.
Second of all, I don't want to be compared or situated next to Dr. Phil. I think that guy is ridiculous and women need to find sources of empowerment from themselves, not a codependent revelation from a bald guy on Oprah, making lots and lots of money off the natural fears of human existence(especially women).

Alright now....depending on your stance on life, which is going to affect the way you handle this situation, you can find a solution. If your an idealist, most likely you will get discouraged. If you are a realist, you can realize where you are here now and understand we are at the age when life becomes so real. The human fixation with fear and boredom thicken which each year, until we eventually develop one of two things:
1. The values and success of conventionalism through societies paradigms. This is natural of human society, learn to break from it though.

2. The values and successes of our own true individualism. Now....don't think so quickly in your head- I am individual. We all think that. You are not truly yourself until your breakdown your psyche from fear and absorbed ideas(some say it takes a lifetime, some say a lifetime is to short).

I said I wasn't going to be long on this, so I will end it shortly, because this is hitting on many many levels of philosophy and I could write a novel on it.

My words of advice:
1. Do not compare yourself to others(especially the media). You are alive, you are here, you exist now. It is beautiful in the fact that you can say, "I am."

2. Find YOUR WAY IN THIS WORLD. We have a short time here and we are deviated from the path of self-actualization. Learn everything you can about yourself. This will help you in the recognition of other's character and motives.

3.Be wary of advice and other people's knowledge. Knowledge 95% of the time is misinterpreted, miscalculated, and regurgated ideals and biased beliefs of others. People will read something in one hour and praise it to others the next.

4. Do not let fear run the path to finding your way. Fear is nothing but a product of hope. 95% of your fears never actually come true, it is a defense mechanim of the mind. Learn to find what you love and do that. Of all the people I talk to, the thing they wish they could change is doing what they loved instead of what they thought they had to do or did for money.

and the last:

5. Acknowledge that you are alone. This is not a bad thing in anyway, but it is one of the things people fear most. We all have the abilities to connect with people. And we do it all the time. But no one can ever understand what you are truly feeling, thinking, doing, wanting, being. You are with yourself in this ride of life, learn to love it. (Some of you will get confused by this and think I am saying that love or friends don't exist. That is hardly the case. Those are connections and love is a fantastic possibility, but realize what I say before you comment).

I hope this helps and good luck in the path of life. Oh yeah and don't watch Dr. Phil.