Re: dairy free diet
I'm dairy free as well, with the exception of having ice cream maybe twice a month. It's not that I'm allergic to dairy, but is causes me to have horrible congestion and breathing problems. Green leafy vegetables are a great source of calcium as are raw almonds. Also consider a liquid calcium w/ magnesiumn supplement. Calcium is very important for us women!
I don't know much about soy milk because I'm allergic to soy. I do know however that too much soy is not good for us. There is also rice milk and that is ok, but it is quite watery. Good for cereal, but I personally wouldn't pour myself a glass of it!
Wheat itself is a whole other issue and you can find it in all sorts of packaged stuff like bread of course, cereal, pasta, and other convenient type foods. To avoid wheat you're best to stick with whole foods that you'll find on the perimeter of the grocery store, and be an AVID ingredient reader! You'll find a lot of things that contain wheat!
Don't worry about excluding dairy and wheat, you won't starve! I'm allergic to wheat as well as all of the whole grains, (and a whole lot of other stuff) and I don't starve. Eating out is a pain in the butt sometimes, and so is shopping, but it's not impossible.
Best of luck!