Please reply back - Disabilities Message Board

Xs_babygirl_Xs15 · 04-19-2002, 11:39 AM

Hi my name is Ashley,
My brother Eddie is suffering from a very bad case of a mental disorder. Eddie and I our twins. I really love my brother and want him to be happy. Iam sick of people treating him differnt beucase of hes problems. He always tells me that hes differnt but I try telling him everyones differnt thats when I get sad cuz he says Iam realy differnt and points at hes head. It makes me think alot of hes future......It scares me that he wont be able to live hes life to the fullest
ability in life.....He cant have kids.....I mean if
you really look at it hes got nothing much to look forward and I hate that. Hes the most wonderfulest person I know. He has so much joy and takes so much pride in everything he does. Hes the happiest person I know. He is always thinking that I am mad at him becuase I try to spend time to with my friends and stuff and Iam not their for him to paly with him and to talk to him. Ya know I need my own time to do my own things....
This is Eddies first year of high school...I want him to feel like he belongs. How do I guve him comfort? I know that it would be good if I was their with him alot more but their is some times he needs to understand. I want him to just be happy and no he belongs on this world. I love my brother more than anything and life its self and I dont want him to suffer how do I get to him and know that I really do love and care for him because he doesnt understand. I have tried alot of stuff with him but he never understands...Please reply back

Well its been a while now I see know one can give me adive or anything else thanks anyways ill post somewhere else

[This message has been edited by Xs_babygirl_Xs15 (edited 06-06-2002).]

siobhan · 04-19-2002, 02:45 PM

First off, your brother is lucky to have someone like you concerned about his happiness and his future. It was very apparent from what you wrote, and I think that it says alot of really good things about you.

You say that Eddie has a 'mental disorder,' do you know what kind? Sometimes, that can help, at least it gives you a place to start.

I understand about worrying about his future, and his preceptions of life. My little brother has Downs, and I find myself worrying about the same issues a lot. Quality of life is really relative. He might not be able to accomplish certain things that would make people like me and you happy, like going to college, getting a car starting a family. If he gets pleasure out of his life as he can, then no one is to say that pleasure is any less than anyone else's 'regular accomplishments.'

When you say 'he won't be able to live his life to the fullest ability in life,' well, yeah, he can, with help from you. It's his fullest ability, not some average guy with out a disability. His goals and abilities are different, conforming to his needs.

When it comes to spending time with him, having a disabled younger brother is not completely different than having a brother who is not. Sometimes they want more out of you than you can give. With my brother, a lot of the time, the only thing to do was to be clear and repeat myself as many times as needed. I suggest that making sure he knows that you have to go do your thing now, but then put aside special time for you and him to hang out. And stick to it.

When it comes to people treating him different because of his disabilty, I'm not the best to give advice. I have yet to handle a discriminatory situation with as much grace and tact as I would like. In otherwords, I usually lose it.

I don't even feel like I've answered this question to the best of my ability. I suppose that I'm just very emotional about the subject myself.

So, emotional, actually, this has made me start to cry. I'll be thinking about this, this weekend, and maybe i'll be more composed on monday.

Hope this helps, sorry if I'm a sentimental freak.

Kokopelli · 05-11-2002, 03:33 AM

Hi Ashley

I have a brother who has alot of mental problems as well not twins but I love him dearly.. I would suggest as his sister try to explain to people that he has a few problems if they treat him differently still they are not his friends at all I am also very protective over my brother infact I have had to give him space because was too protective at one time. He needs to be involved in things and thats hard for alot of people with mental problems. maybe art or a hobby or something. My brother loves model railroading because I do as well and he loves to build so we create layouts might be something you could do with your brother. David loves to paint as well just a few suggestions hon not sure I helped any but I know kinda what you are going through. Hugs to you and hope all works out

Hugs
Koko

Casey44 · 07-10-2002, 01:54 AM

Hi,
My friend's brother has a mental disability too,but their not twins though.I think kids are mean when they treat people for the way that they look and act.My mom used to work with people who have mental disabilities.What I suggest is to help him get around school so he know what it's lie walking to classes.Well,I hope I've helped you a little.

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