I am really happy for you as far as the SS.... Hopefully you will hear something soon... If all the Judge needs is a document with a signature, I wouldn't think you would have to wait again, just send the document and then get a letter that says a Full and Favorable decision for you.... You deserve it.... I know how you felt about your lawyer but it sounds like she didn't screw up to bad and at least you got two beers out of lunch and you did just fine in the hearing as anybody would be nervous... So give yourself a pat on the back for me...
No, I still don't have a date but I do have two new doctor's to add to the long list of resume of doctor's... I now have the dermatologist and the lovely GI doctor.... Isn't that just lovely
Haven't been feeling to good as we just got 15 inches of snow last weekend but thankfully I was at my Mom and Dad's... they got that much to but it was much nicer being stuck in the house with them than my husband as he didn't go.... Yes, grandma still needs the attention but then again she is 91 going on the terrible twos God love her... It's almost comical
I am sorry about your Mother in Law... I am also sorry the vacation was so hard on you, I can understand plus the whole money issue.... My husband tells me last night he is ready for vacation... He wants to go to Florida and I am not a Florida person, I like Va Beach... He said its only like 550 miles I said talk to me in hours... He said about 9 or 10.... I said I don't think so... He said we don't have to drive straight through, we can stop somewhere and then drive the rest of the way.... Hell, it is bad enough driving 1 hour and 45 minutes one way to my mom and dads and I like going there, is he crazy?
No, he is not being nice, we have had a few heavy arguments that have pretty much pushed me over the edge so I did stay off the computer for a while... It wasn't enough that he pushed my buttons but each one of my kids heard at least one of the heated arguments so now it is on... You don't mess with my kids... When my youngest one heard it he was about ready to kick his a**.... Then when my oldest one heard a different one, he was ready to call in work and stay home and I told him no, then before he leaves he tells me don't forget Billy (my ex brother in law) lives right down the street and you know he still loves you... I told my son to go to work and not to worry that Wayne, my husband, does not scare me and he knows better than to lay one little finger on me. I am just so done.... I was at my therapist and psychiatrist today and they both know how bad it is and that I am stuck between and rock and a hard place... My therapist asked me if I won my case with SS today and received a check, would I leave him next week, I said yes without a doubt....
I told her that he pushes bottons when he is drinking and I just cannot control the anger and rage.... She asked if I talked to my Mom about it this past weekend.... I said no way, if I told her or my dad about the heated arguments especially about the kids being there, there would be hell to pay and my husband would be paying it dearly.... I told my therapist and my psychiatrist both that I had thoughts of how to do away with him, not that I would, but just thoughts.... my therapist said it was my was of dealing with the relationship in my mind.... then when I went in to see my psychiatrist after my therapist (they are in the same office), he tells me that it is a healthy fantasy, can you believe that, and we go on talking and a couple of sentences later he says well healthy may not have been the right word... I explained that I would never do anything like that because of my kids but it is just thoughts that race through my head along with a million others.... Then he says you have to promise me if you ever got really serious about these thoughts you would call me immediately because you would be the one in the penitenteriy (sp), I said I wouldn't do it because of my kids... Then he asked if I had told Linda (my therapist), I said yes and he asked what she said and I told him that she said that it was just my way of dealing with a verbally, emotionally and mentally abusive relationship and because I was talking about it with her, I would not act on it. He said okay....
Sorry I am rambling its just that I haven't had anyone to talk to about this part of my life... These boards are the only place I feel safe talking about it other than my therapist....
I need to get something else off my chest so I am going to vent just a little more and I am sorry for this being so long.... Last Wednesday I had my regular appointment with my pain doc which everytime I go I get trigger point injections.... So last Wednesday was no exception and that appointment was made 28 days prior like every other month.... And I had planned on leaving for Mom and Dads on Thursday because my son didn't have school on Friday... So on the Friday before my lovely husband has his 18 year old daughter call me and says "Daddy told me to call you and he said you would take me to my doctor's appointment on next Thursday because I don't want to go by myself, they are going to do a procedure and I am afraid I won't be able to drive afterwards" I said well did they tell you that.... She said no, they said I would be able to but I don't think I will.... So, I am thinking why can't her dad take her and he didn't want to because it was one of those female issues... Now, usually about 99.9% of the time the day after I have injections, I am really not in the mood to do anything and I have to take a pillow in the car just to take and pick up my son from school.... Needless to say, I was pretty pi**ed off... I don't like being set up.... What my husband and his daughter didn't realize is that the woman who does all the books for the doctor she was going to see, has been my ex father in law's g/f for over 30 years... So I called her and asked her about the procedure and in her words, she reminded me that I had it done before and that it was no big deal. Anyways, I take the step-daughter, I can hardly walk, I have to sit in the waiting area which the chairs are horrible and then here she comes out with tears in her eyes and you would have thought they ripped her insides out. She is a hypodondriac and also 18 going on 5.... So we get in the elevator and she is just a drama queen and I am doing everything in my power not to laugh because I am hurting so bad due to the 8 injections I had the day before and she is "dying". I said do you want a xanax because if I didn't give her something, there was no way I could have taken the car ride to get her home. She said yes and my insides are hurting so bad... I said well would you rather have a pain pill and she said well what do you think would be better.... Now, I am thinking to myself.... it would be better if you just would shut up and grow up.... But I knew that wouldn't be nice so I told her I would give her a pain pill.... I get her to the car and I give her two pain pills and two xanax.... I tell her to only take 1/2 of the pain pills knowing she will be out of it within 15 minutes.... So she takes the 1/2 and says can you stop and get me a diet mt dew, so I did. Then she wants me stop and get her something to eat at Wendy's and I am thinking all I want to do is get home so I can pack... So I go to the drive through at Wendy's and I say do you have any money because I don't... She says yes and starts telling me all this food she wants.... I said you are going to have to tell them what you want because I get confused
So now we have the whole menu from Wendy's and I take her to her apartment and I tell her to get her keys out of the glovebox... She said I think the pain pill has kicked in.... Then she goes to get out of the car and I said you might need to undo the seatbelt... Duh....
On the ride home she said I need to call Daddy because he asked me to so she calls and tells him how horrible it was and that I gave her a pain pill, he says now your in trouble if your in her meds (jokingly)
Then her dad calls me when I get home and ask how it went and I just sat there, he said she told me how bad it was.... I said I had it done before and drove myself home and I didn't need anything for the pain but then again, I have a high tolerance for pain..... He said that she doesn't.... Then I said she just might be one of the biggest babies I have ever seen, sorry.... He said yeah, she is like that.... I said well I have to go pack....
He didn't bother to ask how I felt....
I am sorry that I have rambled on its just that once I get started, my fibro brain seems to have a mind of its own....
I can't wait to hear from you and I know you will hear from SS soon.... You deserve it..... Best wishes on hearing from them soon. I will be saying my prayers for you.... Jenn
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