I'm sorry you got that letter.
You know it's the norm, though. I got my first denial with the statement that 'although you cannot sit for lengths of time, you can still walk and move about.' I was very irritated, as I had made it clear in the first application that I could not walk around or stand for lengths of time either. The second denial acknowledged that I could not sit for lengths of time, stand or walk around for lengths of time, but that my arms and hands still worked! HUH??? They failed to explain to me how my arms and hands could go to work without the rest of me!!! And they said I could be a nut sorter.
As you know, I appealed and the hearing took only 3 minutes. Clearly, SS is designed to make you give up. At the first two levels, they're only looking for reasons to deny you, not reasons to approve you. The judge's job is to make sure those who deserve it do get it.
Now's the time to get a good lawyer or personal advocate. I had an advocate, and she was wonderful!
Don't give up, and don't take the denial letter personally. It really has nothing to do with YOU! It's the sad way the system works. Appeal without any delay. The faster you get things in, the faster they'll move along.
I hope you get it on the reconsideration phase. Some do. Maybe you'll be the disability lottery winner that day!
Hang in there, sweetie. I know you've been through a lot, very similar to me. You'll have to fight for this, but you'll get it.