I suffer from multiple mental health issues. I was granted SSD in '08. My husband and I have decided to try for a baby. I'm slightly worried that having a baby will effect my SSD status. We will be living with his parents, who have agreed to help out when I am going through my spells. Does anyone have any insight?
I know this might not be a popular post, but I have to say it, but since I know something about this subject coming from a family where my Dad, and my Mom's family had a lot of mental health issues is.....please think hard about having children, it is was living nightmare for those of us who had to live with adult families dealing with it. Also sometimes these things are passed on, and if you need to live with your parents so your Mom can take care of the child while having a "spell" then is it really fair to a child? This is advice from someone who darn well knows the effects it has on kids, and all your worried about is losing your SSD benefits? I don't know your issues, but deep depression to any other mental health issue all effects kids......jeez there have been a dozen movies made about such situations and it wasn't pretty. Sorry to be blunt, but I felt it necessary.
If you are on medications for mental or physical health issues you may need to cease these during pregnancy or risk birth defects or other types of affects to you and/or the fetus. So before you'd even try you'd have to talk it over with your psychiatrist/psychologist and your ob/gyn.
Parenting is THE hardest job out there (mentally and physically) and should not be gone into without tons of thought.
I struggled with whether to say this or not....but I agree with Alexa. Children deserve to be born into a healthy family (if at all possible). Sure there are families where after a child is born one or both parents then incur a physical or mental disability. But to bring a child into a home where there are known defined issues already (health issues, financial issues, housing issues, etc) is very tough for the parents and the children. I used to do disability claims and would worry when people with physical or mental disabilities would get pregnant - I saw far too many who had worsening of their conditions and a few who had the child taken away by state child services.
You will be eligible for additional SSDI when you have a child (based on your benefits - does not depend on the child's health). SS could later question - if you are able to take care of a child are you still unable to work?
Sorry, but I just had to lay it out for you. I apologize if this in any way upsets you.
Your SSI would not be effected by having a baby .If you are on SSDI your child would be entitled to benifits under your record. Because the baby is a minor and your son/daughter .
As for being on disability , my personal feelings is that this is a decision between you and your husband . Your going to need to be closely monitered during your pregnancy , and the MD's have to be aware of all the meds your taking, which ones that you may NOT take . This needs to be looked into before conception.
Mental illness , does not mean the child is in danger from it's parent! The mother has support , is married, and knows right from wrong .
Not all illnessess are past on either.
Best wishes to you .
Last edited by Administrator; 08-30-2009 at 09:28 PM.
Reason: inappropriate cross talk
My insight on your post is i so much agree with the others here.
Why bring a child into a life situation as you are describing. Working on getting yourself better should be a top prioriety.
You asked for insight and mine is, i would definately not be thinking of getting pregnant with mental illnesses especially knowing someone else would need to care for my child when i have "spells". Absolutely NOT.
Thank you so much mscat40 and Executor. I have other questions, but don't feel comfortable asking them now.
As for everyone else. This board is about disability not about whether or not I should have a child. Those comments belong on a different board. That decision is between me, my husband, my family and my doctor.
I don't know why I'm even bothering, but to address some concerns, no worrying about my ssd is NOT my MAIN concern, but again those concerns don't belong on this board. I've been seeing a pregnancy/medication specialist for 2 years to address medication issues. Living with my in-laws is for a few reasons, but also as a back up. I know perfectly "healthy" people who live with family so they have help with their children. I also know many people with fully grown children who have not passed on their illness.
Alexa, I'm sorry you had a hard childhood, but you shouldn't go around trying to convince mentally ill people that they will be horrible parents. That's just not the case. I know quiet a few mentally ill people who have children, have spells, and their children have some of the happiest childhoods that I know of. It doesn't have to be a devastating situation for a child if your smart about it.
Here is what you said:
We will be living with his parents, who have agreed to help out when I am going through my spells. Does anyone have any insight?
You yourself said you needed to live with his inlaws to have help during your spells. IMO it is not fair to a child. Last point out where I said mentally ill people are horrible parents? Being a parent is a hard job, a 24/7 job, so if you can't even work 8 hours a day how are you going to do it 24/7? This forum is for talking about disability and what you can and can't do; that includes parenting.
Last edited by Administrator; 08-30-2009 at 09:36 PM.