For the past 10yrs I have been considered disabled by social security. My insurance in covered by medicare and medicaid and I receive money every month. I am extremely medicated and not a functional part of society. I don't even go outside.
People assume that I make these choices and that I choose to be like this. I've been told that it is simply a psychiatric disorder and that I need to get off my *** and get stuff done.
I am always trapped in my own head. I analyze and reanalyze my actions, conversations, behaviors and how people respond to and interact with me. I don't trust people because I always worry about how they could hurt me in the future. When I have trusted people in the past I have almost always been hurt.
I am an extremely depressed. I don't take care of myself anymore. I don't enjoy the everyday things that a 26yr old female should. I don't get pretty or dressed at all, ever. I walk around in pj's all day and answering my phone and front door terrifies me. Like I said earlier, I am not a productive member of society.
I am lost in my own delusions and I do want to feel better, I just don't see it happening any time soon.
The following 4 users give hugs of support to: DevanLynn
jgrangran (05-18-2011),LadyVols (05-18-2011),sunni123 (05-19-2011),tinkerbell45 (05-18-2011)
Devanlyn, Are you now on ssi, and are you under a DR's care. Maybe you need a different kind of med. You need to talk to your DR. and tell him how your feeling. Yes there are a lot of people that are depressed on ssi or ssdi. Who was Questioning your depression? Please keep checking on this board people will post . I hope I was able to help you some. Please talk to your DR. that you have now and see if he can tell you. Hang in there
The following user gives a hug of support to jgrangran:
Hi there i want to say YES YES without a doubt depression can be a MAJOR disability. From reading your letter you sound ALOT like me.I started dealing with major depression when i was 26 when my mom died at the age of 59.I was able to hang in and work for a few more years but then it just got to the point where i could not function in the workplace and i never wanted to leave my house.Fast forward several years and i am still dealing with my depression and being bi-polar.I have alot of days where i don't want to go out of the house and i stay in my pjs all day.I take my meds on a regular basis but i still have BAD days and i have good ones also.The one thing that really gets to me is that people(especially my family) just don't understand that sometimes it IS just beyond MY control of how i feel and that i NEED and WANT to be left alone.Please keep in touch with all of us together we can help each other.This board has ALOT of caring people and we DO stick together.Until next time TAKE CARE!!!!
The following 2 users give hugs of support to: tinkerbell45
jgrangran (05-19-2011),LadyVols (05-18-2011)
The Following User Says Thank You to tinkerbell45 For This Useful Post:
One of my conditions is major depression. I will stay inside for days on end. I also have sensitivit to noise and light, so usually it is very quiet and dim inside my place. I am on a lot of medications , and one is a mood stablizer. Perhaps that could help you? on top of the antidepressants , plus have your thyroid checked, this can lead to major depression if your thyroid gland is low. If I do not take the meds to control the severe depression I have become Psychotic . It is like one disorder turns into others making life just plain miserable. I also been diagnosed as haiving Borderline personality disorder which only compounds the other conditions that I suffer from. This is nothing knew , what happens is that the person learns to limit oneself and puts a bubble around themslves for protection. A person can be severely affected by mental illness, however has learned to curb their lifestyle to meet their needs> Like the noise , and light. Some things that I can control and make it easier to function.
Being under a Psychatrists care and talking to a therapist at least once a week can help .
You are not alone . Even if your taking meds, this is not a quick fix. Meds can help to a certain extent . But it is no cure for most people who do have several conditions going on at the same time.
Initally I applied for SSDI on the sole basis of clinical depression, and was denied rather quickly. But, other illness's manifested itself by the time I got to the reconsideration level. Then I was approved , and recieve benifits now.
PLease write here if you want to, a lot of people can understand how it is , and you do not have to suffer in silence.
The following 2 users give hugs of support to: mscat40
DevanLynn (05-19-2011),LadyVols (05-19-2011)
The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to mscat40 For This Useful Post:
DevanLynn (05-19-2011),jgrangran (05-19-2011),LadyVols (05-19-2011)
The first step is accepting yourself. People may frown or tell you to be productive or tell you to 'get off your *** and get stuff done', but they are being hurtful by telling you that. People like a happy face and are often fearful of depression or what they do not understand. However, all that matters is your own pace and what you can handle....what you find important in life. If it is getting through the day, then that is productive, not anyone else's timeline of productivity.
The Following User Says Thank You to sunni123 For This Useful Post:
I use to tell myself this when my anxiety/panic disorder manifested itself over 20 years ago. I have tried everything known to man to figure out why I feel the way that I feel. I have been absent from this forum for a few days now b/c I have been slightly suicidal again. My anxiety now is getting worse despite the medications that I now take. Perhaps, mild depression and anxiety are not that bad but when these disorders are severe as in my case, they can make life literally unbearable. I have prayed to god, tried to do it with willpower, psychotherapy, Rx drugs, exercise, OTC herbs and supplements>>>you name it and I have tried it over the years and now nothing works for me anymore. I sometimes wonder if I will even be alive 5 years from now. My panic and anxiety are so bad sometimes until I pray to god to die to end the daily misery. So yes, these things are definitely disabling conditions when they are severe. I have not left my bedroom or been outside in two weeks now. I am lonely, depressed, never even had a girlfriend that really loved or gave a s*** about me. Now, I feel I am old and I don't matter anymore I just wanted to vent a little. Sorry y'all but my life really sucks.
Last edited by BlueSkies14; 05-19-2011 at 01:38 PM.