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Old 09-28-2011, 04:17 PM   #61
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Re: I seem OK till it comes to Adult/Complex Conversations

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Originally Posted by MrDistersoc78 View Post
Ok we're i'm getting some progress. lately

But i 'm worried cause i hear that some people are denied etc. and with my problem not being visible?(I'm not in a wheelchair) (well i do limp and have trouble walking and a ton of more problems)they will problably say mine is not so serious
A lot of people are disabled with conditions that cannot be seen. You don't have to be in a wheelchair to be disabled. your condition can still be serious. It must be hard not to have your family to turn to. But maybe someday they will understand how hard it is for you. Keep any paperwork you get in a safe place. that is your docuementation , and i hope the speech lady will help you decide what to do next. It is really good you gathered up papers that you did
that will be helpful to get a better picture of your disabling conditions
I am on disability and my conditions are not visible . My son was approved and his conditions are not visible .

 
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Old 10-04-2011, 09:19 PM   #62
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Re: I seem OK till it comes to Adult/Complex Conversations

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Originally Posted by mscat40 View Post
A lot of people are disabled with conditions that cannot be seen. You don't have to be in a wheelchair to be disabled. your condition can still be serious. It must be hard not to have your family to turn to. But maybe someday they will understand how hard it is for you. Keep any paperwork you get in a safe place. that is your docuementation , and i hope the speech lady will help you decide what to do next. It is really good you gathered up papers that you did
that will be helpful to get a better picture of your disabling conditions
I am on disability and my conditions are not visible . My son was approved and his conditions are not visible .
Hey Mscat. thanks and thanks all. Today i finally got the r esults back from my speech/learning test and it indicated that i'm very below the level of people my age and have auditory processin problem too. They gave me the report and told me to show my parents...I showed them and guess what

They started scolding me and saying "Don't you dare believe those stupid wackjob therapists....et c etc"
and they just made me think that having gone to get help was a waste of time and that i should just suck it up and when i dont understand people and concepts that i should make myself understand.

etc etc
Well they will continue nagging me and thinkin gi'm stupid for seeking help
but i dont care i will continue.

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Old 10-04-2011, 09:45 PM   #63
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Re: I seem OK till it comes to Adult/Complex Conversations

For some reason they are caught up in not believing what's in front of their eyes (both on paper and in knowing you). Personally I think they have some deep seeded guilt and are very misguided in thought. They may know they screwed up by not getting intervention years ago and/or they are of the belief that (for anyone, not just you) mental limits/mental retardation/mental illness doesnt exist. They probably would see a severly depressed person or one with severe schizophrenia ready to harm themselves and think "shake it off and move on".

Perhaps they are closed mind about many things (race, religion, gender issues). Plan for eventually moving out and leave behind their attitudes. They would understand if you had cancer and were sick. But they aren't open to mental illnesses.

Do they have friends and an good adult relationships?
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Old 10-05-2011, 12:04 AM   #64
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Re: I seem OK till it comes to Adult/Complex Conversations

I agree it very sad indeed. But I know that some people are that way. They are very much in denial. But it seems like you aren't going to be able to change them so you will have to try to do whatever you can to seek the help you need to live a more comfortable life everyone needs acceptance I think your very strong to go out and try to help yourself get better there should be some kind of help for you as far as living agrangements I would try to get a social worker at a family service place are the human service dept. in your area. Hang in there sometimes things like this happens and it sad but you aren't going to be able to change them they will have to change the way they think and you will have to accept them as being that way and eighter move out and move on I think you owe it to yourself to be around people that support you and help you not bring you down YOUR a great person and deserve to be thought of that way surround yourself with postive people and try to get help. You can;t change them but make sure you don't let them bring you down. Hang in there your awesome for getting help for yourself with parents so closed mined yet you rose to the top you should never let anyone bring you down and make you feel your not important I would seek other living arrangements and just forgive them don't hold on to bitterness just understand they are the one with the issues because you have shown the desire to get help Yea for you. Hang in there keep comming to these board for support it helps to know others care and they do.

 
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Old 10-05-2011, 06:34 AM   #65
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Re: I seem OK till it comes to Adult/Complex Conversations

I even told them(myparents) "you see. i have problem so i dont know why you guys scream at me at the same time..when you want me to translate stuff overthe phone..And you do it mad and i dont understand anything yousay"

they said FOrget all this crap assesment report, just be quick .

By the way my comprehension and memory results said i was at grade level (near 10 years old). So you see how typical ofice jobs or whatever, have been a real struggle for me.

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Old 10-05-2011, 06:58 AM   #66
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Re: I seem OK till it comes to Adult/Complex Conversations

I do see and I'm very proud you were able to do what you have done. You should be proud also.

 
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Old 10-05-2011, 07:06 AM   #67
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Re: I seem OK till it comes to Adult/Complex Conversations

As suggested by another person posting here, a social.worker may be a good resource. A SW can help you through the process.

Sensitive questions , and sorry to have to ask, how old are you? How old are your parents? Do they own the home you live in or rent?

I ask because you have to plan for your current needs and future needs. If you'll eventually need housing assistance, just start asking about what may be available.

Do you have any brothers/sisters? Can they help with your problems with your parents and with your future needs.

Apply or if you've applied keep going thru the process for Social Security Disability. Use a well qualified SS attorney. If you need help finding one, ask any of the tester/social worker folks you are in touch with.

The reason I asked in a prior post about if your parents had friends and an active social life was that

*IF they do then they hide their bias and rudeness and only display it to you.
*IF they don't have friends and an active social life it may be due to a wall of ignorance / bias /biggotry/ etc. they've created around them. Then you can see that it's not you causing the reaction, it's their reactionhey lash out at you but have the same problems all thru their life.
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Old 10-05-2011, 07:19 AM   #68
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Re: I seem OK till it comes to Adult/Complex Conversations

Hello thanks all for the responses.
I'm 32 male. They're in their 60s. They own the home. They don't speak english.never went to school but he's a good talker. they have properties and all and business(self employed labor type business, not administrative not a company etc) and guess who they force to translate. me!!! hehehe. i do my best but i'm not good. i often fail and they get angry.and scold me.

No my siblings can't help they live far away.

Parents don't have many friends but since they do have tons of relatives, they often have visits. ALso, father does tantrums of anger like a kid and has everyone including his relatives in fear. and he also has family feud(only he has it) with tons of people.

 
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Old 10-05-2011, 07:55 AM   #69
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Re: I seem OK till it comes to Adult/Complex Conversations

i'm late coming to this thread, but I had a thought.....I have memory problems too, not due to a disability, but just due to being over 50 LOL
But what helps me is to write stuff down.....i have to write myself lists to remember things, or just write a thought down on paper when it comes to me, because it can be gone just that quick. Would it help you to take notes to remember things? also to be able to understand better if you re-read your notes, something might make more sense in a work situation, etc.....
i think the fact that you're fluent in a couple different languages is great!
What kinds of things do you enjoy? I know you're working on the disability aspect, but I think you could still be productive in something work-wise, you just need to find the thing that works for you.

 
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Old 10-05-2011, 08:23 AM   #70
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Re: I seem OK till it comes to Adult/Complex Conversations

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i'm late coming to this thread, but I had a thought.....I have memory problems too, not due to a disability, but just due to being over 50 LOL
But what helps me is to write stuff down.....i have to write myself lists to remember things, or just write a thought down on paper when it comes to me, because it can be gone just that quick. Would it help you to take notes to remember things? also to be able to understand better if you re-read your notes, something might make more sense in a work situation, etc.....
i think the fact that you're fluent in a couple different languages is great!
What kinds of things do you enjoy? I know you're working on the disability aspect, but I think you could still be productive in something work-wise, you just need to find the thing that works for you.
Thanks rosequartz for visiting. Yea you're 50 welcome
yeah yeah i always writes stuff i have notebooks always, but there's many times when you're in situations where you can't write down stuff. moreover, i can't understand when people speak tome especially adult stuff so i try to take notes but it's too fast and everything is gone from my brain as soon as they say it.

But yea i always write alot(Evidence is that i write here alot heheheh)

"The fact that i'm fluent"

I said i'm not fluent!!! i can speak basic stuff but i struggle alot. the translating part I can do because i see the words written down and i can spend as much time as i want. and i can also interpret(in real life with voice) simple stuff because i've grown with 2 cultures. But like i said when it starts getting adult language or even typical low highschool level or jr high level speech, then i fail miserably.

 
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Old 10-05-2011, 08:40 AM   #71
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Re: I seem OK till it comes to Adult/Complex Conversations

Appears your dad thrives on power and inflicting pain and putting fear into others. They've been here long enough that spoken english should have been achieved at least to some level. Many old school parents have no understanding of child and family development. Your dad doesn't care what your testing reports say, he fears inperfection in himself and others and appears to bully those around him to make himself feel better. There's a side of him that is pleased to know you may be trapped in that you live with them and you aren't able to run away from him as others do.

Would I be right in guessing your siblings live FAR away to get away from the Parents?
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Old 10-05-2011, 09:36 AM   #72
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Re: I seem OK till it comes to Adult/Complex Conversations

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Originally Posted by SpineAZ View Post
Appears your dad thrives on power and inflicting pain and putting fear into others. They've been here long enough that spoken english should have been achieved at least to some level. Many old school parents have no understanding of child and family development. Your dad doesn't care what your testing reports say, he fears inperfection in himself and others and appears to bully those around him to make himself feel better. There's a side of him that is pleased to know you may be trapped in that you live with them and you aren't able to run away from him as others do.

Would I be right in guessing your siblings live FAR away to get away from the Parents?
yeah you're right. he never let them have boyfriends and they were in fear cause he always says that women who date/go out are hookers.., . then they left and that's when finally got boyfriends ...and then had babies. He was so enraged when he heard they were gonna marry..eventualy he knew he could not stop them because they're far away.

And they're also women.. he has all his life on me cause i'm the male. And he's putting all his life/goals on me even if i have trouble with language and even though i'm my own person.

anyways, it has been tough.

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Old 10-05-2011, 12:05 PM   #73
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Re: I seem OK till it comes to Adult/Complex Conversations

If there is a sister/sister you have a good relationship and trust see.if you can use her/them as a long distance support for you. If by chance any of your sisters have kids with special needs OR has educstion/career in a.field related to special.needs they may have more interest.

Let any social worker/counselor you meet with know about the family.dynamic.issue even if just by printing out these notes and presenting them to the SW/counselor as I know verbal expression is a challenge for you.

None.of us can control how others act or react. PLEASE know your parents input is not valid.in any way. It was enough to chase your sisters away. I would bet that at times they say to themselves "our poor brother got sucked in and can't leave as we all knew he had learning issues". Your parents gave your sisters NO coping soils and didn't nurture self-esteem so one may have overcome it to become successful and happy yet another sister may struggle her whole life to overcome her childhood and may not know how to help herself nor you.

This may sound harsh but your dad clearly has mental health issues. He married someone he can control and will act the way he wants. If it was me and my dad said "you are just dumb or mentally sick" I would say (TO MYSELF) "well it's clea.where I got tha from ( BUT given his abusive nature I wouldnt say it out loud.
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Old 10-06-2011, 03:37 PM   #74
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Re: I seem OK till it comes to Adult/Complex Conversations

Hey there,
What is your next step? Have you recieved your test results? Have you filed for SSDI/SSI? Do you have someone helping you through this process? i know your family is not helping you and this makes things extra difficult. That must be very hard. Try not to let them hold your back. Do what is best for you.

 
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Old 10-06-2011, 10:36 PM   #75
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Re: I seem OK till it comes to Adult/Complex Conversations

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Hey there,
What is your next step? Have you recieved your test results? Have you filed for SSDI/SSI? Do you have someone helping you through this process? i know your family is not helping you and this makes things extra difficult. That must be very hard. Try not to let them hold your back. Do what is best for you.
My next step i think is ssi/ssdi i dont know..my people and therapists were talking a bunch and i didn't understand i kinda understood something but not really. But anyways, they're gonna tell me in the next few days.

i haven't file.
Yes i received my test results and i told you guys about it. You didn't read it?
basically i'm way below the level of people my age in comprehension and speaking.

 
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