Hi Arkansasbeauty -
For my sons IEP that granted him things like the ability to self-time out and all that other stuff, I had to get the district involved. I found out who was in charge of special education, and wrote a formal letter that was certified, return receipt, to the school he was attending, to the district office superintendent, and to the special education "leader" (has another title, but it is escaping me at the moment), requesting their attendance for an IEP, and to please phone me to schedule one when they could all be there. And that was done at the suggestion of his counselor, who also attended the meeting, and his psychiatrist wrote a report on how it was beneficial for my son to have those accomodations, and all that.
Knowledge is indeed power in so many ways, not only in dealing with SS, but in dealing with our childrens schools
My son is now homeschooled, so it is no longer an issue, but while he was in public school that IEP was the best thing about the school