Yes, the bordom gets to me at times, but on that same note I get horrible side effects from over doing it. I am two years into this mess and went from a fulltime employee, foster parent, adoptive parent, casa advocate, girl scout leader, bunco host, weekly card games and bbq's to nothing! I do nothing but dr appt, small trips to pharmacy and wal-mart (they have electric scooters), of course still parent but no more fostercare, coaching, sporting events, girl scouts, so it has been quite an adjustment for me. But lkke pain az I have some tv shos thank goodness for on demand.lol. I also just started to do lamp shades, beading them it is slow and I can work in 5min intervals but gives me a project.
We all have to make adjustments, try to keep ourselves from going crazy and dwelling on the negative.
Hi. When chronic ailments leave us disabled unfortunately only others who suffer can relate with you. It's like this: you can see a cast, see a neck brace, so seeing this people are sympathetic and helpful; what you cannot see is nerve damage, chronic fatigue, chronic pain, migraines, etc. Most of the world only believes what they can see to understand. This also falls into the categories of some doctors, our spouses, our family and friends. We are put into categories as lazy, non social, dramatic because they do not see our struggles, feel our pains. What the base things on is what we do on our good days. I can stack 5 cords of wood on a good day, unfortunately for the next three days I suffer and cannot even lift a gallon of milk. Disabling conditions make US VERY STRONG, we are not weak individuals. Those who cannot understand this are the weak ones. Stay strong and know that others who suffer DO UNDERSTAND.
The following user gives a hug of support to babbey: sandiemas (06-24-2012)
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to babbey For This Useful Post: dunerkat58 (07-10-2012), sandiemas (06-24-2012)
I spent a LOT of years feeling really sorry for myself OR fighting my situation tooth and nail, resulting in further pain/exhaustion/disability.
I know that it is different for everyone- but I finally found that the only way to fight the negativity was with positivity. For everything my disability took from me, I decided to take something back. I always wanted to write a book, I always wanted to have time to read really good books, I always wanted to paint/blog/etc...
It has been a rough transition, don't get me wrong. First I got crazy angry, refused to accept my situation, or just sat around and cried about how frustrating it was to have to ask for help or call someone to go to the store for me...but that just makes things worse. Physiologically, my body fed off of that negativity and I felt worse and worse on both an emotional and physical level.
When I stopped fighting the situation, I realized I could look back on the career I can no longer do with fondness. I can be lucky enough to have done something I loved AND have a chance to do something new. It may not make me a living and I might have some days when I have to just rest- but I have a chance to have a completely fresh start and in order to have a new life that I LOVE instead of HATE- I had to dispel the blatant negativity that was running my life.
I stopped crying about the fact that I couldn't run a huge horse stables anymore and instead enrolled in online equine classes that I've always wanted to take, and to just appreciate the days when I feel well enough to teach riding lessons, etc.
Of course I don't know your own personal limitations or desires- but I know how much it hurts to feel like you were amazing and now you are broken. It's a feeling of worthlessness and squandered dreams...but that's because we are so focused on what we have lost and not the opportunities we have gained.
I live in severe pain 100% of the time. It used to break me down- but today, it makes me strong, unique, and gifted.
This has been a long road and it isn't like I feel good about it every day- but the more I changed my perspective, the more I changed my situation and got my life back on a new track.
It's still YOUR life...my heart goes out to you and i hope you can find the peace and satisfaction you desire. Once you feel like you are LIVING again, you won't feel so much like other people regard you with pity anymore, either, and that's a sweet relief. They'll see the powerhouse you are. xo- good luck.
Last edited by sophia554; 07-10-2012 at 05:20 AM.
Reason: typo
The following user gives a hug of support to sophia554: sandiemas (07-02-2012)
Cody, I'm sorry to hear about your depression. Sounds like a life changing experience. But here's the bright side you are not alone, you have family, friends, etc that will help you get through this. It will be tough but at the end of the day you will see results.
enveryone who's disabled can relate to your situation. Sending you hugs!!!!!
Your story of going from hectic/busy/FUN life to trying to be okay with lounging around because it's necessary- totally hits home with me.
And I also hope to adopt a child someday soon so your story is motivating to me.
The following user gives a hug of support to sophia554: sandiemas (07-13-2012)
Your story of going from hectic/busy/FUN life to trying to be okay with lounging around because it's necessary- totally hits home with me.
And I also hope to adopt a child someday soon so your story is motivating to me.
Adoption of a child is the most rewarding, thankless, timeless job you can have. It totally wraps your heart and provides you with a lifetime of unconditional love and happiness. I hope you get to a point where you can do it you will not regret it. Sometimes I feel bad that I am here in this place and not providing them with all the activities I should but, we are providing them with a loving home, which is something they didn't have, stability, education, and security. So although I get down and wish I could do more I am so greatful for what I do have and what I have done. In my life I have helped many children and families and touched many hearts I have to keep reminding myself of this and hope that once again I will be able to help others. But for now I am trying to adjust my new life and figure out how to live again... I really hope you find you bliss and get to adopt, feel good and be happy. Thanks for the post. Let me know how you are doing and if you have any questions I would be happy to help if I'm ables...
I really appreciate hearing about your hard work to keep on going. I have to keep reminding myself, also, of how much more children are of unique situations and people with different abilities.
If I can figure things out like how I will get my kiddos to a doc appt or if we can all take a family vacation without me holding up all of the fun, I think I'll be a couple steps closer to making the family dream come true.
The two things I have to offer are:
-a really loving set of parents
-a life around horses/farms
Are you able to drive/take your kiddo to a store, etc? That's my largest concern right now. I do have a supportive mom, though, who I am sure would have a lot of fun stepping into the grandma role.
Anyhow, I wanted to thank you for being an inspiration
The following user gives a hug of support to sophia554: sandiemas (07-21-2012)
The Following User Says Thank You to sophia554 For This Useful Post: sandiemas (07-21-2012)
I really appreciate hearing about your hard work to keep on going. I have to keep reminding myself, also, of how much more children are of unique situations and people with different abilities.
If I can figure things out like how I will get my kiddos to a doc appt or if we can all take a family vacation without me holding up all of the fun, I think I'll be a couple steps closer to making the family dream come true.
The two things I have to offer are:
-a really loving set of parents
-a life around horses/farms
Are you able to drive/take your kiddo to a store, etc? That's my largest concern right now. I do have a supportive mom, though, who I am sure would have a lot of fun stepping into the grandma role.
Anyhow, I wanted to thank you for being an inspiration
That is so much more than most these kiddos ever have or will have 'a set of loving parents' and a 'life around horses'. Horses are so therapeutic! When your time comes I think you would be a great adoptive parent. Kids don't care so much about trips and vacation the ocassional family game night, a good book, individual attention. Those are all things we all can give. I am fortunate to have a husband and adult daughter that helps with groceries, school shopping, etc. I am not able to do that at this point. Like last week my whole family 'accept for.me' went to magic mountain I was bummed that I couldn't go but thankful that my husband was able to take everyone. So things have a way of working themselves out and others step in when needed seems to work that way sometimes.
I hope you can find your comfort zone and get some relief from your pain. I am still trying to find mine everyday I struggle with chronic pain, it is depressing and makes every task in life so hard that sometimes I dont think I can make it. But then the day is over I get some rest and things look better in the am hopefully. So I guess I am saying thanks and hope we can both get through this difficult painful time.
I swear I am not usually the type to disappear from these boards for months on end.. Many life changes later, it feels good to be back. I just ready our replies to me from July and cannot tell you how much your support means to me- but I would like to try.
My entire life I have thought of all of re things I cannot wait to share with my children one day. When's disease onset and correlated circumstances hit 8.5 years ago, I felt like this dream of sharing my life with children was over.
Your kind words and the support off many people on these boards has given me hope that someday (hopefully soon/soonish), I can still fulfill many of the dreams I held dear before this challenge began.
Thank you for your compassion. Thank you for the hope. They are priceless to me.
I held out for as long as I could, I worked, I went to school etc etc and now it's all blown to pieces. I am trying to get used to this 'sit like a bump on a log' as my dad used to say. Some days I'm ok with it or am distracted enough to not notice that I'm just a bump. SSI doesn't pay enough to give even a weekend getaway so I get to stare at the same walls every single day. Soon there will be the wheelchair and even the being able to walk to the car with my cane will be gone. I miss so much of what I used to be able to do. I'm working with a therapist to help reconfigure my life so that it is more worth living. I'm so tired of ppl expecting me to already have accepted this lot. The whole permanent vacation thing sucks in the ultimate, but you can't convince them otherwise. Some vacation when it's the same walls you saw yesterday and last year I'm supposed to be happy about it? I am now trying to get more involved in life and the community around me. I'm not quite old enough to be a senior but that doesn't mean I can't come in and spend some time listening and playing cards with them. It is actually really good for both them and myself.
I'm just having to rewrite my book on what I think productive is, what I think is worthwhile.
Maybe I'll learn to play bridge... I live right across the street from a bridge club.
Sorry this is rambling and coming out odd...my PM just changed my meds a bit so still in the 'is this gonna work and not make me beyond loopy?' stage.
Hi Darydien : I'm sorry you're struggling with all these issues. What diagnoses are you dealing with? Have you found support from people with similar issues here or in local support groups?
I'm 46, went out of work 4 yr ago for a complex array of orthopedic problems I've had since I was about 10. I've had a ton of surgeries and my body, especially my spine, couldn't handle work anymore. Luckily I had employer STD & LTD. Eventually SSDI was approved (SSDI benefits are deducted from LTD).
I have a group of friends who are supportive of my issues and accept me for who I am, we get together monthly and they keep me going. I have old friends that have slowly backed away and I accept that. I have a hard time facing never working again. I keep up on my work industry (insurance) to keep my brain active. It also helps that my hubby is fine with me being ouu;My husband is supportive and realizes I have some days I can be active and other days I'm in bed all day.
The biggest thing that's helped me... Our cats! We had 3 and took in 2 more when my FIL died in May. I talk to them, they love to cuddle, etc. Pets bring life, love and vibrancy to the endless days.
Hi Darydien : I'm sorry you're struggling with all these issues. What diagnoses are you dealing with? Have you found support from people with similar issues here or in local support groups?
I'm 46, went out of work 4 yr ago for a complex array of orthopedic problems I've had since I was about 10. I've had a ton of surgeries and my body, especially my spine, couldn't handle work anymore. Luckily I had employer STD & LTD. Eventually SSDI was approved (SSDI benefits are deducted from LTD).
I have a group of friends who are supportive of my issues and accept me for who I am, we get together monthly (or more often) and they keep me going. I have old friends that have slowly backed away and I accept that. I have a hard time facing never working again. I keep up on my work industry (insurance) to keep my brain active. It also helps that my hubby is fine with me being out of work even though disability income is 50% to 60% of what I could be earning working. He knows some days I can be active and other days I'm in bed all day, and it's unpredictable the.
The biggest thing that's helped me... Our cats! We had 3 and took in 2 more when my FIL died in May. I talk to them, they love to cuddle, etc. Pets bring life, love and vibrancy to the endless days.
Re: How Do You Deal with the Negativity? 
Re: How Do You Deal with the Negativity? 
I'm supposed to be happy about it? I am now trying to get more involved in life and the community around me. I'm not quite old enough to be a senior but that doesn't mean I can't come in and spend some time listening and playing cards with them. It is actually really good for both them and myself. 
