| | On disablility, and feeling worthless!
I'm a 40yr old woman, and I'm Epileptic, I've had my seizures for 37yrs. now. At one point in my life I was able to work, go to college, and live alone. My seizures have pretty much been in control where I was able to do these things. About 7 yrs ago I started having gran mal sz back to back. The college I was attending told me I had to stop my classes because I was considered a high risk, and the job I was working at let me go for the same reason. I know that, that's considered discremination. Except I live near the Houston area, and here in Texas a company has the right to let go of one of their employers without any reasons. So I applied for disablility, and now I'm on it. I hate it though! I hate when people ask me if I work, and it's embarassing to have to say that I don't. I always feel hopless, when I'm around others, and they talk about their jobs, where they work, and what they do. I loved it when I was able to work, I was always around people, and I loved working with others. I want to be able to go back to work, even if it's just for a few hours, I've already tried to appy, but, I've gotten turned down so many times, I feel hopless. It's even harder for me, because if I have a gran mal for more then 15 min. I lose oxygen to the brain, which causes my, memory, and thought process to slow down. Which it has considerably since I stated having my gran mals I have neices, and nephews, and I see them getting older, and as they do I see their intellegence growing. While me seems to stay the same. I can't even seem to have an intellegent conversation with others, because I always feel, like I'm going to say something stupid. I always feel like I'm on the outside looking in.