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Old 12-02-2003, 09:45 AM   #1
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guitarguy70 HB User
Any divorced people with Herpes??

Well, it looks like my wife may want a divorce soon.

We have been married for 8 years.... She gave me Herpes in the beginning of the relationship....(unknowingly) ....Now I could be a single guy again.... WITH HERPES.

Not only do I get to be sad and depressed that the person that I love does not want to stay in our marriage, but I also have to deal with the prospect of being in the single world with this stigma.... Anybody else dealing with this? Or dealt with?

 
Old 12-02-2003, 07:42 PM   #2
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Re: Any divorced people with Herpes??

Been There, Done That!

I am divorced and my ex-husband gave it to me (he say's unknowingly too, but I'll ask you...when you had your 1st outbreak - did you know something was wrong?...yeah me too).

ANYWAY...after 2 years of having many friends, but celebate I met a fabulous man. It wasn't long after spending time with him that I knew I'd have to tell him and fortunately for me he saw my value as a person and his response and support since then has erased the shame and feelings of inadequacy I carried for many years.

There's life after your soon to be ex-wife. Just keep on living and learning how to keep this at bay. I'll tell you that liquid oxygen and DMSO has worked wonders for me. It's much cheaper and more effective than anything your medical doctor will prescribe.

Wishing You Well!

Quote:
Originally Posted by guitarguy70
Well, it looks like my wife may want a divorce soon.

We have been married for 8 years.... She gave me Herpes in the beginning of the relationship....(unknowingly) ....Now I could be a single guy again.... WITH HERPES.

Not only do I get to be sad and depressed that the person that I love does not want to stay in our marriage, but I also have to deal with the prospect of being in the single world with this stigma.... Anybody else dealing with this? Or dealt with?
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Old 12-02-2003, 09:04 PM   #3
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Re: Any divorced people with Herpes??

I also got it from my ex-husband, and we divorced many years ago. I had no trouble at all finding partners (and , yes, I told them beforehand.) Now I am living with my soulmate, have been for over a decade. Try not to worry--if it's the right person, it will happen. If it's not the right person, maybe she will be scared off--and you won't have to go through another divorce. Also, when you get ready for another romance, remember that herpes is not the worst thing one can catch nowadays...please remember to be careful and protect yourself. And read a lot on this board. You'll get a wealth of information, lots of support, and ideas on how to protect a partner who does not have it. Start with the "Happy Couples" thread I just bumped up for tikitorch. Peace; this bad time will pass.

 
Old 12-02-2003, 09:53 PM   #4
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Re: Any divorced people with Herpes??

If I was you, I would've tried to find a decent female who already had herpes rather then doing this unforgiveable sin of passing the virus to someone else. Doesnt matter wether u tell em before or after getting into a relationship, who knows your new partner, after getting herpes from, you will stick with you for the rest of her life, or she will go thru the exact same situation you are going thru now.

Thankfully, you seem like a person blessed with wisdom and intellect. Your post's "Subject" is an answer in itself.

 
Old 12-03-2003, 12:23 PM   #5
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Re: Any divorced people with Herpes??

GuitarGuy.....sorry to hear your marriage may be on the rocks. I am not married so I can not even begin to imagine what you are going through. However, I would imagine you are concerned about dating if a divorce does occur but this is probably not the biggest thing to be focusing on right now.

I don't think you need to begin a quest for a new partner with herpes. That should not be the common bond that holds a relationship together. Yes dating my be difficult but just as Backpacker has stated numerous times...it will be the person that is really for us that will be accepting of the news. Doesn't that kind of bring some level of peace to you. Knowing that a person will love and accept you no matter what.

My last partner's response after I told him I had it...was that stuff messes with your nerves! I laugh now when I think about it...basically my point is he didn't think loving me was worth the risk of something possibly messing with his nerves. Trust me...he wasn't the one...but there are people out there that will want to be with you for you and won't mind risking a possible nerve irritation for the possiblity of true love...but let's not get ahead of ourselves...maybe your marriage can be salvaged...either way ...GOOD LUCK!

I think the key is to prevent and protect...and minimize the risk of spreading this to someone. Not to go around in solitude...marked for life.

Last edited by notsobad; 12-03-2003 at 12:26 PM.

 
Old 12-03-2003, 03:45 PM   #6
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Join Date: May 2003
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desertdweller HB User
Re: Any divorced people with Herpes??

My first husband gave me Herpes, he knew he had it and didn't tell me. He actually tried to blame his Herpes on me. After we divorced, he finally admitted that he knew he had it before he had met me. I knew I could never lie or hide about having Herpes to anyone. So I have told men straight up about it. Not when I first meet them, but if things get romantic. Most guys I have told are really okay about it. One guy was hesitant, but eventually didn't care. I feel lucky that I only get 1-2 outbreaks a year. It has been almost 20 years since my first outbreak , and I have never given Herpes to anyone else ( knock on wood).

 
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