update on hubby wanting a divorce
ITs been a while since I last posted, and things are okay. Im not miserable and things are calm. Since my husband said hes leaving, we have changed the way we interact. He has been spending time with friends for the first time in our marriage (i was not telling him he couldnt have a social life, quite the oppostie). He is working more, too, which actually has been a good thing. He has spent several night out of town due to work. it gives me time to myself with the kids, which I have been enjoying. Ive basically beens taying out of his way and have been amicable about the whole thing. NOw that this is happening, I dont feel like Im emotionally invested enough to resent him or be angry like I used to. Its kind of nice. I still cook meals for everyone, and lately he has become affectionate towards me all of thesudden. I dont know why but he acts like he may be reconsidering. He is calling from work alot more, hugging and kissing me, and we started a sexual relationship again for the first time in a couple of months. Im not discussing this with him. WE decided to take this day by day and Imnot so sure what I want anymore. I think that unless we are both able to make a HUGE effort, we probably should end it. But we have always been in love and me being sick and us fighting became so hard to deal with, that it seemed like an endless cycle. I still feel bad but Im taking charge of my own health and researching alternative ways to manage my problems. This marriage has been painful for us. It hurts so much because we really have loved each other. We both admit to that. But right now, living in the moment and taking it day by day is all we can do. Sometimes it feels like we are in limbo, but it also almost feels like a clean slate, without the resentments we had, and its almost nice. Its kind of like dating again. Maybe it will work out if we can both let go of our emotional baggage,but Im at this point open to either avenue-we may work it out, we may be over, we will see over the next few months what happens.