Re: Seeing divorce in my future, scared
I don't have experience in meeting somebody knew, but my current partner passed it onto me. He never told me he had it until he experienced and ob. He said we should wait a week, which we did and we used a condom, but two months down the track i got my first ob. I supposed i could have gotten very upset with him, but instead i ended up educating myself and him. I couldn't believe he hardly knew much about it!! So you see, i could have left him, but he means so much to me and now we both have it. He still can't believe that i accepted it so well.
I sometimes like to think far ahead too and have thought on the odd occasion, "what if we part, what do i do then?", but you can't allow yourself to think way to far ahead. In your circumstances, as you said, you aren't ready to date right now. You need to sort out your marriage/seperation etc first, then get yourself settled somewhere and ease into your single life slowly. I don't think dealing with your marital break down and herpes all together is a good idea. Leave the herpes behind for now and concentrate on yourself and your new life. One day when you are relaxed and more at ease in your new life, then you will approach the issue of herpes. That's the way i'd be doing it. Deal with what you can fix right now and leave all the rest for later.
One thing you can do right now though is taking the right vitamins/minerals etc to counteract the stress/anxiety you would be feeling. If you are finding it hard to sleep there are a variety of herbal remedies such as Valerian to relax you at night. Daily are you taking a multivitamin or any other natural medication? Eating right and drinking perhaps some herbal teas, water, fruit juices. When you are stressed and anxious my doctor always told me to do some form of physical activity like walking, but in the evening to do relaxing things before bed to keep you relaxed and help you sleep.
Stillhope1, wishing you strength to find the courage and the right words to tell your new partner and i hope we will hear good news from you soon.