Stressed Out & Want A Divorce! - Divorce & Separation Message Board

MSuCANTsmokeME · 08-25-2005, 07:34 PM

I never felt like this before! I am tired, cranky, my knees and lower legs are hurting me. Then, I hear from my wife that I look fine. I know I can hide it but I am feeling really drained!

I had an MS attack the beginning of August. I was in the hospital. I am out on disability. I am waiting for that money. I am unemployed, too!

She's always thinking of the money! She can not sleep and she always says to me that it's better at work.

I can not handle this!

I am always a happy person making everyone laugh. Now, she says that I fight with everyone at my job that I was at for 12 years.

Oh, I wish I was born without MS right now. I am thinking about skipping town! She does not know how I feel! I wish she could feel it and have a nice attitude like me!

None of my friends know that I have MS. If I trip or fall, I play it off. I play off all of my symptoms.

Now, I can not play off anymore! She thinks I'm fine because I look fine.

I really want to scream!!!!!!

lilc · 08-25-2005, 07:46 PM

I do know how you feel. Don't have the same issues, but I DO know how you FEEL! Almost no one knows I have MS, but those who do are NOT helpful. And they say and do all the wrong things.
I also know, as you do, that melting down is the last thing you need to do to yourself. That's exactly what started this mess for me.
You cannot do this alone, STOP TRYING. You've made a good start, right here. You HAVE TO have someone to talk to, someone who cares about you unconditionally. You've got that here.
I'm praying for you tonight, hang on.

MSuCANTsmokeME · 08-25-2005, 08:04 PM

Now she's crying and yelling saying that we're gonna lose the house and we can't pay the bills.

I have an interview tomorrow at 10 am. She's draining me.

I told her that I am going to leave. She said if I do, get divorce papers.

I can't stand this tonight or anytime!

lilc · 08-25-2005, 08:28 PM

I know you can't. You are right. You need to find a way to take care of you tonight. Sounds like she's scared to death and it's coming out mad and crazy. But it is draining you, and you need all the energy you can get for tomorrow. I couldn't tell for sure from your 1st post, but she does know you have MS, right? Either way, her education is another topic altogether.
Please, don't do anything tonight to sabotage your interview tomorrow. If you have to sleep on the couch do that, it's better than no sleep. You just need to both calm down, neither of you is in a state of mind to make decisions tonight.

KelliD · 08-25-2005, 08:44 PM

Hey listen.....you guys sound like me and my ex. I am not justifying her going off on you. But I think I can explain what is happening...or what "sounds" like is happening.

Sounds like you have severe financial stress. We did too, toward the end of our marriage. The way women are geared...the way God made us...is we must have a sense of security. If we perceive that security is threatened, we *can* get out of control.

I also completely understand how you feel re: the MS, the stress, the hiding it, the being-sick-and-tired-of-being-badgered. My heart truly aches for you. I've walked in those shoes, too.

Lilc is right....do what you must to take care of you tonight.

I am sorry if I sound preachy. I really do understand you both...and I wish I could hug you both and make it alright. Hope you are both able to rest tonight and see all of this through different eyes tomorrow....