I've posted here twice before - a summary can be found here
My dilema at the moment, as well as still shock and despair of whats happening is that I've got an ultimatum from my "wife"... I've got literally 48 hours to decide whether to divorce my wife or she'll divorce me. Some would say it doesn't matter who is the one actually filing the divorce - but to me, I think it would matter.
In summary, after the best part of 10 years, my wife said that it was over, has found somewhere else to live and will be gone very shortly. She also isn't even interested in trying to get things back on track.
She wants the divorce to happen immediately, and if I don't divorce her, she will divorce me on unreasonable grounds. If I divorce her, then I think I can easily come up with unreasonable grounds.
Possibly from a pride or confidence perspective, if she divorces me on unreasonable grounds (even though she admits that she couldn't really come up with any solid reasons - she just doesn't want to be married to me anymore), she would have to make up some substantial reasons to satisfy the courts... Shes told me what reasons she'd use which are not close to a true reflection of things.
I'm the one who still wants to keep the family together and shes the one taking it apart. This in itself is a big enough blow. To then be the divorcee rather than the divorcer would I think feel like another big blow - especially as the reasons who effectively be lies. It would be like kicking a man when hes already down...
I'd value anyone's thoughts as my 48 hours is getting shorter with every keypress.... The only mistake I don't want to make is to look back in X years time and realise that "emotional baggage" is due to who divorced who.
I may be making too much out of this and if you think so then please say. My mind is working overtime at the moment with all thats going on and the above may be irrational thoughts...