I have a very good mate who has been quite depressed for years during his parents divorce. Lately, he doesn't want to talk to anyone, nor does he want to talk about it. He wants to sort it out himself. But it has been years, and it still hasn't been sorted out. What should I do?, or should I let him sort it out; if he ever will?. Okay this goes way back..... I 'use' to be the only happiest thing in his life, that cheered him up from his depression, we would always chat and talk on the phone, etc... We loved eachother, it was unexplainable.
And then months ago... we realised it was awkward as his mother wasn't coping well at his home still with the divorce. And you could see he wasn't stable enough to be in a 'relationship', let alone trying to cheer his mother up. He would easily change from a nice, sweet, caring guy to a really mean, rude, arrogant guy. After that, we decided to remain good mates (because that's what we were originally).
He isn't stable and that's easily shown. But I'm just curious, if there is anything I can do to help him? I really want him to be happy.
You sound like a lovely friend to have and it's great of you to be so concerned. Unfortunately, there's not much you can do until your friend is ready to face up to his problems and start dealing with them. All I can suggest in the meantime is that maybe you sit him down or write to him and just explain that you're really worried about him, you're scared that he's ill and you really would like him to try and get some help. It might get him at least thinking about what to do. Offer your support and friendship, tell him you're there for him and you love him and that you'll be around through the tough times - other than that there's not a huge amount you can do apart from wait for him to start sorting himself out.
Sorry there's no easy answer. Let us know how you're doing. xx
Hi, You could help him go to a doctor to get antidepressent medication, maybe help him make the appointment, or go with him for support.
Also, you could suggest he join this message board.
Exercise with him.
Make him tea and soup and other comforting foods.
Invite him out, and go pick him up, so he gets out of the house.
Buy him a journal to write in....
Sounds like your friend is feeling guilty. He needs to realize that his dad's leaving was not his fault. Does he see his dad? He must realize that his mother's depression is not his problem but hers. Unfortunately, it's not easy because it is his mum and he loves her. He will never get rid of his own depression if living with a depressed mum and feeling it is his responsiblity to care for her. She needs help. And shame on her for allowing her son to believe it's his responsibility. If he stays on this road he will have a unhappy life. Thank God he has a good friend like you. Best of life...