It's killing me to read these posts Kimberlee, I was living with a "husband" that acted more like my child. I helped him through his rough times (he was diagnosed with depression, but his violent rages make me think not).
And when he got better, I figured it was O.K. Like you, I begged for sex, I cried, I even hit him once because he shoved me right off the bed.
I used to get so mad because I hated to be rejected, and if I could not hurt him, I would go try to hurt me instead.
I got tired of being shoved away, literaly and emotionally. He said he loved me, bu tit did not even sound like he meant it. I started thinking he liked me around as a convenience and he was comfortable because I took care of him. I was the one making a bit of money to pay the bills and buy our food.
When I signed up for the Army everything changed for me. He did not like that. We were living like you said, as roomates. when I came back from Basic training, I had learned that there's a whole world out there, and I can do so much more then just "getting by". When I got back, his lack of emotions had burnt me out so much taht I moved into the living room. I just could not keep hearing him tell me not to touch him and to get on "my side" of the bed.
I used to be a topless dancer, I paid the bills and was able to go to college while taking care of him. One day, I was changing my clothes at home, I tried to do this where my ex could not see me because he usually acted like he was either embarassed or offended by me. But this time I did not bother to go hide. He looked up and said "I can't believe anyone would pay to see that". That really hurt!
I cannot believe that I had crowds of men that were more than willing to have me, and the only one I wanted did not.
I finally had enough, and I told him I was leaving. That was it, I've had it. I wanted a life, I wanted a family, and I realized I was never going to have that. I was living around what he wanted, even though I was not getting anything back. I just wanted some affection, which I did not get. We got a divorce after 10 years of marriage.
I did leave, and I found a wonderful man, that loves me ant shows it all the time. He is very sweet and I never have to beg for anything. Nobody should ever go through something like that. You are much better than that. You deserve love, and that is why you were married in the first place, right? for love.
I know you have a child to consider, but that child is just going to feel the emotions (or lack of) and it will affect him too.
I know you will be a great mom, and you can do it by yourself. My mom raised me by herself and she was great.