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Old 11-01-2006, 08:17 AM   #1
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Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: vancouver
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basshead HB User
help-heading for divorce

ok.
so my wife and i have been having problems.
comunication exsits in one direction.
i understand what she says to me very well, and can reiterate what was said.

this s not a two way street.
i talk to her and what i have said has been misconstrued, and from my point of view, not all that was said was heard.

so what i say gets taken in a completly diferent direction and i end up fighting ghosts.

things i didnt say, and what i mean gets lost.

it has been a problem for a while, and it has affected our sex lives.

how can i have sex, or even talk to her when she is on a rant about something that dosnt exist?

this has been a problem for a couple of years.

 
Old 11-01-2006, 09:16 AM   #2
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Join Date: May 2003
Posts: 1,045
desertdweller HB User
Re: help-heading for divorce

Welcome to the differences between men and women. There was a reason the book Men are from Mars, and Women are from Venus sold so many copies. My only suggestion is to try couples counseling. Counselors kind of work like an interpreter.

 
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Old 11-19-2006, 05:11 PM   #3
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Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Alabama,USA
Posts: 505
hairier yet.. HB User
Re: help-heading for divorce

Bass,

Try this - Ask her if she trusts you. If you get a yes, without doubt assure her she's taking your words the wrong way. She what she says then. If she can't stop the misconstruing, then she may have a hang up about just wanting to believe what she wants to believe. I don't know for sure, but it could be a form of being a control freak. I'm not saying that she is, but what do you think? Again, not to imply, but there are many people in the world that think the rest of the world is wrong if others dont think the way they do.

All the best. Hope divorce court says out of the picture.

-h

 
Old 11-23-2006, 06:28 PM   #4
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Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: Singapore. But I come from Mauritius
Posts: 11
glerio HB User
Re: help-heading for divorce

There is another simpler book which you can you for a quick fix about your problems with communication.



"WHy MEn don't have a clue and why Women always need more shoes", by Marbara and Allan Pease.

GO GRAB GET THIS BOOK!

Here's what can help you for the time being

We guys normally mean what we say....i.e we use direct words
But women often use indirect speech, specially betw themselves, and they forget that man are not women, so when you are saying something, she tends to hear sthg else.
Tell her about that too.

And moreover,
WOmen deal with stress by talking about it, withouht requiring you to input solutions, where as Man prefer to be alone and think about it. Let her know that as well, as if you are not talking to her, she might immediately assume taht you are angry at her.


Cheers

IN anycase, you wil HAVE to get "Men are from Mars Women Venus " in the end. Go read it, AND BOTH OF YOU

Last edited by glerio; 11-23-2006 at 06:35 PM.

 
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