Re: please help in new relationship with newly divorced man
While I think it's noble to want to hang in there and try to love him through this difficult period in his life, I don't really believe it works that way. Waht will probably happen is he will continue to make you sad and miserable with his hot and cold routine, being dishonest and evasive, then when he's finally ready to get it together and is tired of being a jerk and is really ready for a good, mutually respectful relationship, he will promptly dump you and take up with a strong, self assured, confident, assertive woman who would never have put up with who he was when he was with you.
Thsi is just my opinion, but I think life is way too short to try to love someone into loving you, or to try to heal them into being able to have a relationship. Look at it this way, if you had all kindsof baggage and hang ups and insecurities from a divorce, and you were still tied to an ex that you still had contact with, that you couldn't stop talking about or harboring feelings for, even ill feelings, and you disappeared for days at a time with no hint of your whereabouts, would you expect a man to hang around hoping you'll snap out of it? Would you want the kind of man who would? Yeah, me neither. You wouldn' expect that from a guy, you wouldn't want that guy, so don't be that girl. If it were me, no matter how much I loved him, I love myself first. I'd tell him when he's truly put his ex behind him, when he's done being at her beck and call with the bucks, when he's done seeing her to tell her he can't see her, (sh-hyeah!!) when he's done being confused and taking off for three days with not a word, when he's done spewing venom at her and has truly put it behind him, when he's ready to be in a relationship for real, then he can call me. I just might answer, if I'm home.