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-   -   Thoughts on taking maiden name after divorce (http://www.healthboards.com/boards/divorce-separation/490401-thoughts-taking-maiden-name-after-divorce.html)

Ava_31 04-14-2007 10:59 PM

Thoughts on taking maiden name after divorce
 
Any thoughts on it???? Should I change it back to my maiden name? i do but I don't. I do because my husband has been such a jerk and very cold. On the other hand I don't want to because then I have to change my name on everything! He's such a jerk, he commented on why I wasn't going to change it at first and then he's like yeah, my last name sounds better. Yours sounds so mexican. I was like, first of all I'm not mexican. I'm spanish from spain not mexico. And he's just like its the same thing. Such an A#$!!! I think I should just change it.

shorti 04-15-2007 03:07 AM

Re: Thoughts on taking maiden name after divorce
 
i think you should change it if you are going to be calling him a jerk and stuff like that. my parents divorced and mum kept my dads name. she said she wanted to have the same name as us kids and didnt want to have to change her name on all her details. the thing is she said horrible things about dad and his family. her extended family bagged my dad also and they would all have a laugh. my dad said why is it that she puts me down so much, yet keeps "MY" name? i have to agree with my dad. why would u want your ex husbands name when you dont like him? sorry but it doesnt really make much sense.

Laylah 04-15-2007 03:17 AM

Re: Thoughts on taking maiden name after divorce
 
You should get rid of his name Ava, because it is like a ball and chain round your neck. It's worse than a ball and chain in fact, cause a ball and chain dosent go round groping your friends and lying about it, but it's the closest example I can think of.

You need to get back to who you are, and your maiden name is a bigger part of your personal identity than you may be considering right now. I wouldnt give a damn if my surname was O'Toole or something equally ridiculous, I'd still embrace it's return on my official documents, it'd be my way of giving two fingers to him and everything associated with him. Anyway, Spanish sounding names are beautiful; go for it!

ozzybug 04-15-2007 05:56 AM

Re: Thoughts on taking maiden name after divorce
 
Ava-
When I divorced my first "husband" (i put it that way because he was NEVER man enough to be a husband) there was not even a moment of doubt that I would take my maiden name back. I wanted to be totally done with that abusive jerk. I figured why keep the name when I wasn't part of that idiots life any more. Good riddance to bad rubbish is how I felt about it.


I know this really sounds mean, but why keep the name of a man who you are no longer married to? Especially if they are a total jerk?

Now, if a divorce is on good terms, and there are still good feelings, then this would maybe be different, but I still tend to feel that even had we divorced on good terms, I would have still taken my maiden name back.

Good luck sweetie, I hope you are able to get through this with no trauma.

Ava_31 04-15-2007 10:15 AM

Re: Thoughts on taking maiden name after divorce
 
thanks you!!! All of you are just sooooo sweet and thoughtful AND to the point. I am definitely going to change it with no regrets!

happymom28 04-15-2007 01:09 PM

Re: Thoughts on taking maiden name after divorce
 
I didn't change my name back to my maiden name for one reason and one reason only, my daughter. Had I not had her I would not have hesitated to change it back and get rid of one more reminder of what a terrible marriage I had! Definately do it.

Ava_31 04-15-2007 03:22 PM

Re: Thoughts on taking maiden name after divorce
 
We don't have kids so that is another reason why it is easier to change it. I can't wait until this week is over with!


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