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Old 05-22-2007, 08:28 PM   #1
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divorce is making depression worse

Hi there. Its been awhile since I last posted but I am going through a tough time and needed to talk. I am just starting the process of divorcing my husband of eight years. They haven't been the best years and I am finally able to say that I don't want to be with him anymore. The thing is, he won't let go. He still calls all the time, begging me to take him back and making me feel guilt for this decision. I don't know what to do anymore. It has made me so depressed that I am at my wits end with him. I have been on Lexapro for quite some time now and I have really been feeling better, until all this happened. Any advice on how to deal with divorce and depression would be greatly appreciated.

Thanks...

 
Old 05-23-2007, 06:49 AM   #2
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Re: divorce is making depression worse

Tootsie, don't take his calls?

 
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Old 05-23-2007, 06:58 AM   #3
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Re: divorce is making depression worse

Definitely don't take his calls...

Also, I think you should tell him to stop calling you. Tell him it's making you feel bad. Only way he'll stop I think is if you tell him to. It's not easy... But in my opinion, it's the only way.

Let us know how it goes, k? Hugs to you... Hang in there. ~ Sly
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Old 05-23-2007, 07:05 AM   #4
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Re: divorce is making depression worse

stick to your guns and do what you KNOW is the right thing......
you will feel better and have a weight lifted when this is behind you.

 
Old 05-23-2007, 01:59 PM   #5
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Re: divorce is making depression worse

I am going through a seperation but in a different manner. The only contact I have with her is when I pick up and drop off my son and if I could figure out a way to completly not see her I would. Anyway that is beside the point. When I told my doc that I was going through this my risk factor immediately went up and I am a high risk patient to begin with. Divorce/seperation is a nasty hit to your emotions regardless who initiates the breakup. My advice would be to sever him off completly if that is possible and keep a close eye on how you are doing mentally.

take care
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Old 05-23-2007, 02:12 PM   #6
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Re: divorce is making depression worse

You need a good support system to remind you that you are worthy and won't be tempted to take him back. My parents were divorced when I was 9 or 10 and my mom went through a horrible depression. She just laid on the couch all day and ate. She gained tons of weight, and then became even more depressed! Come here as often as you need to, and if you need more support look into therapy. Depression is terrible on its own, I can't imagine what you must be going through.

 
Old 05-23-2007, 07:22 PM   #7
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Re: divorce is making depression worse

Hi all,

Thanks for the words of encouragement. The problem that I am having is that I have three kids with him, ages 6, 4, and 1. This means that I have to take his calls, especially when he has the kids. We just seperated and we are still trying to figure out custody, money, and everything else that goes with a divorce. The other stressor is the fact that I haven't worked in about four years. I have been a stay at home mom and that should count for something, but my resume looks horrible and I am so scared to return to work. I just don't know what to do. Thanks for letting me vent, I really appreciate the responses, they really help.

 
Old 05-24-2007, 09:50 AM   #8
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Re: divorce is making depression worse

I went through a divorce but was lucky as my ex husband and i are best mates and still do alot together with our 3 kids.I have since remarried and my ex is great mates with my new husband and we are like 1 big family,go on holidays and that together.Once you get all this divorce sorted out you should look at things as a new start.Go back to work you will enjoy it, making new friends you may be surprised at your new life.Good luck

 
Old 05-27-2007, 02:15 AM   #9
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Re: divorce is making depression worse

Tootsie, even taking Zoloft, the first 5 months I cried regularly, and I was the one that initiated the separation. This takes TIME, which with a 1 & 4 & 6 year old and summer fast approaching, you probably don't have a lot available. If you can arrange to see a therapist, that can be helpful.

Quote:
Originally Posted by galbraith37 View Post
I went through a divorce but was lucky as my ex husband and i are best mates and still do alot together with our 3 kids.I have since remarried and my ex is great mates with my new husband and we are like 1 big family,go on holidays and that together.Once you get all this divorce sorted out you should look at things as a new start.Go back to work you will enjoy it, making new friends you may be surprised at your new life.Good luck
That's where I hope my husband and I end up. We've been separated 2 years, and we do get along great when we're out doing stuff as the 4 of us. I was just saying a prayer on the way home tonight about this very thing.

 
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