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Old 08-08-2007, 12:42 PM   #1
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janettehyde52 HB User
Dating Younger Man...while going through divorce

I have two concerns. First, the age difference between myself and by bf, I am 55 and he is 46. I don't look my age (younger) and he doesn't look his age (older). He is not bother by the age difference, I am.

Also, I am at the final phase of my divorce and I am trying to decide is the intense feeling I have for his person is due to the rebound factor. My judgement is off a bit and I think I am more accepting of things then I would be normally.

Any words of wisdom would be greatly appreciated.....J

 
Old 08-08-2007, 12:59 PM   #2
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happymom28 HB User
Re: Dating Younger Man...while going through divorce

Honestly, I don't think your age difference is a big deal. Sure there is 9 years there, but it's the maturity level of the both of you that counts. It's not like you are 29 and he's 20. If you both enjoy eachother's company and have a lot in common then age really is just a number.

As far as whether or not he is a "rebound" man, well, only you can decide that. I was completely over my ex-husband before I even filed for divorce. I kept on giving it another chance because of our daughter, which now I realize was only making it worse on her. I remember I filed for divorce on my mother's birthday and I took her out to lunch after. I was so happy to know that that phase of my life would soon be over. I met my current husband 4 months later and we hit it off instantly. He knew I was going through a divorce and he knew my ex wasn't making it easy on me. He was very worried about being a rebound, or worse, me going back to my ex. I assured him that my marriage was over long before the papers were filed and that the divorce proceedings were all a formality. I never had any doubts that what I felt for him was real and not because of the need to fill a void.

I don't know if my little story helped or not, but in any case I'm sorry to have rambled on. Some of the questions you need to answer for yourself are, who wanted the divorce, you or your husband. Usually the person who wants the divorce can move on a lot sooner and easier than the other one because the feelings changed for them before hand and they are more likely to be over the relationship. Also, if your husband wanted you back would you go? If the answer is yes then I think you have a pretty good idea what that means. You are the only one who will know for sure if your feelings for him are genuine or not. If you are completely over your (ex)husband and your marriage then I would be pretty confident that your feelings are real.

 
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Old 08-08-2007, 02:04 PM   #3
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tarheel247 HB User
Re: Dating Younger Man...while going through divorce

my story mirrors Happymoms. marriage was over before divorce filed. met now bf three months later. best thing that ever happened to me. he is almost three years younger then me. he was going through a divorce too. mine was final june 18 and his july 23. like i said...best thing that ever happened...besides my kis of course..

i think the "rebound" stuff is when you are younger. don't believe in it as adults. if the chemistry is there then you know its the real deal...
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Old 08-08-2007, 04:37 PM   #4
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Fillin HB User
Re: Dating Younger Man...while going through divorce

I met my husband before I divorced my ex. My husband is 13 yeaers younger than me and we met online. We are very happily married and have been so for 7 years now! Best thing I ever did for myself.

Lisa

 
Old 08-09-2007, 09:26 AM   #5
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janettehyde52 HB User
Re: Dating Younger Man...while going through divorce

Lisa,

thanks for the reassurance, it means a lot to me....Janette

 
Old 08-09-2007, 09:28 AM   #6
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janettehyde52 HB User
Re: Dating Younger Man...while going through divorce

What you said here is pretty much how I felt but seeing it in print from someone else helps confirm these feelings. You didn't ramble on at all, it nice that you took the time to answer..thanks, Janette

 
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