I don't want this relationship to end and I want to spend the rest of my life with him and I know he does to. But if he can't respect my feelings on the matter, what choice do I have. He knows this is upsetting to me and I don't want it to be that "well I'll get the divorce now because I want to marry you". How do you think that makes me feel. It really hurts. you said that if it was important to your girlfriend (and you know that you want to be with her) that you get the divorce or would loose her, you would do it. So how should I go about this?
That is a tough one Linda and I feel for you. You obviously do have strong feelings on this and because of that, I agree with you that he should respect your feelings. I know you don't want to end this, but IMO, you need to prioritize things. How high of a priority is this for you? The bottom line: If you can't get past this and it's causing you stress and emotional pain, and he isn't willing to file for divorce, as much at it hurts, that says a LOT about him. Something has to give and if it isn't him, then you need to do what you have to do in order to not be so stressed.
Well, this is the bit I just don't get Scarn; how come one minute it's just a "piece of paper", then the next minute it's a piece of paper worth divorcing someone over for the sole purpose of obtaining another piece of paper! I mean, either that piece of paper is worth something, or it's not! You cant go rushing to tear up one piece of paper in order to sign another piece of paper and all the while maintain pieces of paper have no significance at all! LOL!
Well acutally you CAN do just that! In one instance (the ex), it's simply a piece of paper because the emotional bond that was the basis for that paper is no longer. But in order to make legal in the law's "eyes", you DO need that second piece of paper to reap any of the legal, married benefits. And in order to get that second piece of paper you HAVE to obtain a divorce. So it's not as you say "a piece of paper worth divorcing someone over..." at all, it's that you are REQUIRED to divorce in order to get married again (obtain the 2nd piece of paper).
In my opininion, the TRUE bond is the engagement...it's where I bought the ring, and made the commitment. What really matters is the love. The wedding "paper" simply seals the fate.....now that didn't sound too good eh? (just kidding of course).
well it has been over a month since the mediator made his decision and that had to be put into the papers and then have both of them sign the papers. And the divorce is still not done. I told him that it hurts me that it hasn't been done, to the point that I was crying. so now i am getting very mad about this and not going to take it no more. He will definitely get an ultimatium. what do you think?