Perhaps this is a time that you need to focus on getting yourself in the right place.. have you tried asking your husband how he would feel if you did that and then tried to work on the marriage? As it is you are dealing with a new condition (and one that's not always easy to deal with) and then the stress of a marriage.
WWID: work on myself first (as selfish as that may sound) because I can't be there for someone else when I'm not talking care of me... just my whole 2 cents worth.
that could very well be... have you been able to get him to read anything about BPD? and what you are going through and why? I know it's hard. I lost 2 marriages to BPD (1 before I was diagnosed - the 2nd one had to do with the BPD)..... it is definitely not easy and I can honestly feel for you. My current husband actually took the time to research the disease and talk to a pdoc when I told him of my BPD.... it shows in how he is able to deal with me now. I truly wish you all the best.
But, you may have your answer if he is not wanting to be a willing participant in the process. HUGS!!!
I agree with Tigger. You cannot be happy until you get straightened out. It's that simple. Whether he waits or not is up to him but you need to fix you before you can fix the two of you.
On a better note, things will get better. I know it is overwhelming and I know you feel like giving up but one day you will be happy. One day you will truely find the "self" through all this madness and that is a wonderful feeling. That was the best for me, realizing that there is a me under all the symptoms. I exist and I love myself. The hardest, and most important, thing to do is stay positive and never give up hope.
I wish you good luck.
Live the good days to the fullest, they are all too few.
Live the bad days with hope, there are many good days yet to come.
if it's any consolation, my "ex" wouldn't do anything to help me with the divorce that we mutually agreed on.... then all of a sudden he had to know if it was final so he could get remarried (3 months post our divorce which is how long he had known her for) Needless to say I went ballistic - - now I'm okay and we talk as friends... but it was rough for quite a few months and I must have gone from depressed to manic a million times in those months it seemed. I know everyone will say it.... but, it does get better!