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Old 11-12-2008, 05:10 PM   #1
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divorce coming???

so I dont know what to think and how to feel any more.

I'm 25, married for 3 years, no kids. We kind of have been problems from the very beginning and now it comes to a point where she wants to go to another country(to visit her parents) and think about our relationship.

In the beginning when we started to date, we fought almost everyday about stupid stuff. in the end though, we made up, said sorry and continue our relationship. Overall, it wasn't that bad. I think these fights we had were just lack of effective communication and expectations, which took us a while to figure out.

She was an exchange student, so she went back to her country, and we had a 1 year long distance relationship. We made through that, and she came here and we got married. during marriage, I think it was almost perfect. Still had a few fights here and there, but I think these were minor. some of the fights did bring the big 'divorce' word from her.

I think 2008 was a okay year for us. We still had a few 'big' fights that leads to her mentioning the 'divorce.' but other then that, we say sorry in the end and it's all better. We even planned to have kids.

then about 3 months ago, we got in a fight, and we haven't made up. we still sleep in the same bed, go to work together, but we dont get intimate, hold hands, wear rings, etc etc. I feel like we both just gave up on eachother. I asked if she is interested in marriage counseling, and she said no. sometimes we even joke about how to split assets. We are more like friends now.

Joking aside, I'm actually confused as heck as to how I feel and how I am suppose to feel. I'm at a point where I dont care anymore. I dont know if that means something, or if I am just being lazy and not trying hard enough.

If someone asks me why we are in this situation, to tell you the truth, I dont even know why and/or how to explain. I dont know how I am suppose to feel.

I'm afraid to let this relationship officially end because I dont know if it is the right decision, but then again, I dont know what else to do.

 
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Old 11-13-2008, 02:26 AM   #2
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Re: divorce coming???

A very brief response:

Let her (or even encourage her to) go back to her country and see her family. Maybe she needs that to make her decision. And you would profit from it, too. I am afraid that is all to be done at this point.

Are you afraid that she may never come back? In this case, you can get a divorce by abandonment (sorry) and then move on with your life.

 
Old 11-13-2008, 07:48 AM   #3
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Re: divorce coming???

Quote:
Originally Posted by cookoo View Post

I'm afraid to let this relationship officially end because I dont know if it is the right decision, but then again, I dont know what else to do.

some things are out of our control......if it ends, it ends......
go with the flow and see what happens, like the old saying.....
if you love something set it free......you know the rest.

 
Old 11-13-2008, 08:22 AM   #4
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Re: divorce coming???

Just from personal experience, if it is this much work and you have no kids, mortgage, health issues, finance issues yet......just wait, hell is on the way, life is tough.

I think what is meant to be will be. Mind you, marriage is a lot of work. But how do you plan on resolving these issues if she doesn't even want to try? It is like being stuck in a current and no one will help you get to the shore.

Let he go to her parents and you should do some soul searching of your own, sounds like you could use it.

 
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