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Old 06-22-2009, 11:11 AM   #1
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Thumbs up 4 years after the divorce...never felt better!

I was just looking through some old posts that I made in 2005, while I was going through my divorce. I just wanted to give some hope to anyone going through this experience right now. I am SO happy and healthy, and so much wiser today than I was back then! I thought I was absolutely going to die, and the things my ex husband did to me were horrible, and I found out that he even made up an account here and posted things about me that were untrue so he could try to save face. He is now remarried to one of the women he cheated on me with. Looking back, I can't believe I wanted to stay married to him and try to work it out, because I know I never would've been happy. I thought I wasn't strong enough to make it on my own, or find someone else. Well guess what, I WAS strong enough! I have a beautiful home, a great job, and am now in love with a wonderful, sweet, giving, affectionate, warm, AWESOME man...everything my ex husband was not! Anyone going through a divorce and thinking you're not going to survive it...YOU WILL!

 
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Old 06-22-2009, 02:57 PM   #2
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Re: 4 years after the divorce...never felt better!

been there done that!!!

a couple months after my husband left me he had the nerve to say to me
"I really didn't think you'd survive without me"

I looked at him with disgust and chuckled and said, "yeah neither did I, until I woke up the day after you left, and I was alive"

I'm a whole different person, much stronger, self-reliant, and happier!

We just don't see past the mess when we're going thru it......but it does get better

 
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Old 09-12-2011, 05:29 PM   #3
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Re: 4 years after the divorce...never felt better!

I was married twice. The first one i was in the military and she left me and had kids with another man. I came home after 24 months in the sand box. Put me in debt almost 120K and finally paid it off yesterday. Still this day i don't know where my kids are. Second marriage fail because we both give up and she hates putting up my **** according to her. We went through counseling, but that didn't help. I guess it hard for her to understand me and hard for me to understand her. I am happy for you that you found someone you understand. Yeah I survived and I believe its very hard for men to go through divorce and receive so much crap from every direction.

 
Old 09-13-2011, 04:46 AM   #4
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Re: 4 years after the divorce...never felt better!

Hi Sophroniscus, your reply brought me back to this post, and I had to respond again. I'm reading it now and can't believe how different my life is now. I'm so happy I went through with that divorce, even though I suffered at first to the point of thinking I wouldn't survive. I'm happily remarried now, to a military man...and my life couldn't be better. I live in a different state, we own a beautiful new house, and I'm with someone I can love and trust completely. I'm sorry you went through such crap with your marriages, especially the first one. To do those things to someone while they're deployed is the worst kind of betrayal. You're a person she should've been proud and supportive of. Well, it's her loss. My husband went through the exact same thing with his exes, too, except they didn't have any kids. I hope you're able to find yours one day. Also, don't give up hope of finding the right person. My husband went through two divorces as well before he met me.

 
Old 09-13-2011, 07:34 AM   #5
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Re: 4 years after the divorce...never felt better!

Hi, I'd like to share my divorce too. It happened years ago and I had three small sons. I tried to keep them in their home with me but since my working skills were limited and my ex-husband worked for GM I gave the boys to him after a year to take care of. They left the home a year later without telling me and moved to the West Coast where we came from. I stayed on the East Coast and found them and could visit every chance I could but they felt I had abandoned them and were very angry with me. It has finally come around that through my continuing to keep a bridge of communication with each of them, I have been reunited with them all and am now attending their weddings. It was difficult not being in their lives when they were small but I have become stronger, they are strong and decisive men and I am so proud of them. I don't know if I could have raised them by myself and I am thankful that they had a hands-on father who let them make choices and become men. Divorce is so difficult but I am thankful that my sons are in my life after many years of separation, anger and abandonment feelings.

 
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