It appears you have not yet Signed Up with our community. To Sign Up for free, please click here....



Divorce & Separation Message Board
Post New Thread   Closed Thread
LinkBack Thread Tools
Old 10-12-2009, 03:43 PM   #1
Senior Veteran
(female)
 
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: Australia
Posts: 3,987
Audrey-B HB UserAudrey-B HB UserAudrey-B HB UserAudrey-B HB UserAudrey-B HB User
Wedding dress and rings after Divorce

After divorcing a number of years back i have kept my wedding dress and rings, but will eventually have to do something with them. I'm 'over' the man i married, no emotional feelings there, but do have a little emotional connection to the dress and the rings, but only due to the hopes i had had for this relationship and it and the man turning out totally different to what i had been led to believe. I never take the dress out to look at it, it's stayed in the tissue paper at my parent's house.

I know some people have melted down their jewellery and had it made into something else. I guess that's the only option. With the dress, i'm not sure what people do there. Any suggestions, ideas or stories of your own?

 
Old 10-12-2009, 04:39 PM   #2
Senior Veteran
(male)
 
pendulum's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Florianópolis, Brazil
Posts: 3,713
pendulum HB Userpendulum HB Userpendulum HB Userpendulum HB Userpendulum HB Userpendulum HB Userpendulum HB Userpendulum HB Userpendulum HB Userpendulum HB Userpendulum HB User
Re: Wedding dress and rings after Divorce

I don't much understand about those things (dresses and jewellery) , but I know that memory (in your mind) is much more powerful than any object that you may wish to keep. I suppose that you have a few pictures of your wedding, right? Isn't that enough? I also think that a wedding dress is a very personal thing and intended for a single event in a lifetime, but I know that a few people don't mind wearing the wedding dress of someone else, if they love it and can't afford to buy a brand-new one. Why don't you take and give your wedding dress to a bazaar or to a shop selling old but still worth wearing clothes (I don't know what they are called in English)? I think it would be better than giving it to someone you know. Allow it to be chosen by a stranger and maybe make them happy if not for a moment.

My 2 cents...

 
Sponsors Lightbulb
   
Old 10-12-2009, 06:15 PM   #3
Senior Veteran
(female)
 
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: California
Posts: 2,095
Redneon82 HB User
Re: Wedding dress and rings after Divorce

If it's in excellent condition, you can probably sell it on consignment, especially if it's a designer dress. Mine was a House of Bianchi and I actually ended up giving it to Goodwill while I was still married, because I had a son and not a daughter! Check into upscale resale shops and see if any of them offer consignment. That way, some young girl who couldn't normally afford a designer (or just pretty) gown might be able to get one after all.
__________________
"Advice is what we ask for when we already know the answer but wish we didn't." - Erica Jong

 
Old 10-12-2009, 06:52 PM   #4
Senior Member
(female)
 
Join Date: Jun 2009
Posts: 128
mustlovecats HB User
Re: Wedding dress and rings after Divorce

What about donating it? Also you can locate a consingment store and see if you can sell it there, my mom has a shop where she rents wedding dresses and most of the time she buys them from brides.

 
Old 10-12-2009, 08:55 PM   #5
Senior Veteran
(female)
 
Kszan's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2006
Posts: 4,976
Kszan HB UserKszan HB UserKszan HB UserKszan HB UserKszan HB UserKszan HB UserKszan HB UserKszan HB UserKszan HB UserKszan HB UserKszan HB User
Re: Wedding dress and rings after Divorce

I've seen lots of wedding dresses at Goodwill. Consignment shops are better because you get money back. Or sell it on that famous auction site or that site named after a guy named Craig and his list. That's what I'd do.

I have 2 engagement rings because I was engaged twice. The first one I had made into a necklace. The second one is still intact in my jewelry box. Ironically enough he and I are still friends. I haven't decided yet what to do with that one. It doesn't fit anymore cause it's too small (lol) but eventually I want to do a new setting with it because the diamonds are still in really good condition.

 
Old 10-12-2009, 08:59 PM   #6
Senior Veteran
(female)
 
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: California
Posts: 2,095
Redneon82 HB User
Re: Wedding dress and rings after Divorce

Oh, and I kept my wedding set including engagement ring after my divorce as my "emergency" money source in case I ever got desperate enough to need to hock it. Unfortunately my crackhead ex boyfriend stole the wedding band that had the most diamonds, but I still have the engagement ring with its (microscopic) diamond. Don't date a crackhead! LOL...but it's nice to have an option in case of emergency.
__________________
"Advice is what we ask for when we already know the answer but wish we didn't." - Erica Jong

 
Old 10-13-2009, 07:02 AM   #7
Senior Veteran
(female)
 
rosequartz's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Chicago,IL
Posts: 10,344
rosequartz HB Userrosequartz HB Userrosequartz HB Userrosequartz HB Userrosequartz HB Userrosequartz HB Userrosequartz HB Userrosequartz HB Userrosequartz HB Userrosequartz HB Userrosequartz HB User
Re: Wedding dress and rings after Divorce

sell the dress at an online auction
donate it
take it to a resale shop

get the jewelery appraised and see what it's worth

 
Old 10-14-2009, 06:07 PM   #8
Senior Veteran
(female)
 
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: Australia
Posts: 3,987
Audrey-B HB UserAudrey-B HB UserAudrey-B HB UserAudrey-B HB UserAudrey-B HB User
Re: Wedding dress and rings after Divorce

Pendulum - ah yes, photos too, i'd almost forgotten about those!!

To those who mentioned consignment stores, i'd not thought of that. It's worth getting a little money back considering i spent most of my own money on most of the things.

I had thought of melting down the rings and making something else out of them, but redneon i like your idea of saving them for a 'rainy day' in case there is a cash crisis.

Really makes me firmly believe i'd never go through all this again. Eloping sounds so much easier!!

 
Old 10-24-2009, 12:03 PM   #9
Inactive
(female)
 
Join Date: Aug 2009
Posts: 176
starryGal09 HB UserstarryGal09 HB User
Re: Wedding dress and rings after Divorce

My daughter donated her gown that takes women's clothing only.
Sold diamond, kept setting and put her birthstone in the setting.
It is gorgeous!

Recently found out the salon where she purchased her dress in 2003, is closing.
Her photographer recently sent her a letter asking if she wanted the negatives as he was closing his business too. The bakery she ordered the cake from has closed as well. I do hope cape cod--where they went after wedding--hasn't closed!!

 
Old 10-25-2009, 01:47 AM   #10
Senior Veteran
(female)
 
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: Australia
Posts: 3,987
Audrey-B HB UserAudrey-B HB UserAudrey-B HB UserAudrey-B HB UserAudrey-B HB User
Re: Wedding dress and rings after Divorce

StarryGal - that's amazing, so many places closing!! I'm sure Cape Cod is still there. That is a place i'd love to visit.

It's funny you mention the negatives. A year or so after i got married my photographer wrote to me asking whether i wanted to purchase my negatives. I had this weird 6th sense that my marriage wouldn't last and i didn't want to spend the money on the negatives as i felt the money would be better used on other things.

Putting a new stone in the ring is a great idea, but my ring would still look like an engagement ring. My diamond is a decent size and so so sparkly. I always loved it and so many people used to comment on it. I felt as though i'd made a special bond with it. I think i might get a jeweller to reset it and melt down the gold. Maybe make a pendant out of it.

 
Old 10-26-2009, 08:25 AM   #11
Inactive
(female)
 
Join Date: Aug 2009
Posts: 176
starryGal09 HB UserstarryGal09 HB User
Re: Wedding dress and rings after Divorce

well I think I'm gonna keep checking on Cape Cod every now and then - you never know! lol

I would def keep that ring as a ring for awhile.

Didn't deBeers start a "Wear a diamond on your right hand, ladies" campaign awhile back? Or something like that. Makes sense to me.
But a pendant would be nice, too.

 
Old 10-27-2009, 06:44 AM   #12
Veteran
(female)
 
Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: Iowa USA
Posts: 451
BigRed54 HB UserBigRed54 HB UserBigRed54 HB UserBigRed54 HB UserBigRed54 HB UserBigRed54 HB UserBigRed54 HB UserBigRed54 HB UserBigRed54 HB UserBigRed54 HB User
Re: Wedding dress and rings after Divorce

Do you know anyone who quilts? You could have the dress turned into a quilt. Then you could hang it on the wall or put it in a box or whatever you choose and you'd have it forever.

 
Old 10-27-2009, 07:53 AM   #13
Senior Veteran
(female)
 
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: Ohio
Posts: 874
resolution09 HB Userresolution09 HB Userresolution09 HB Userresolution09 HB Userresolution09 HB Userresolution09 HB Userresolution09 HB User
Re: Wedding dress and rings after Divorce

Quote:
Originally Posted by starryGal09 View Post
well I think I'm gonna keep checking on Cape Cod every now and then - you never know! lol

I would def keep that ring as a ring for awhile.

Didn't deBeers start a "Wear a diamond on your right hand, ladies" campaign awhile back? Or something like that. Makes sense to me.
But a pendant would be nice, too.
I occasionally wear one on my left hand and I'm not married or engaged. I'm just a rebel! (And the right hand has always been uncomfortable.)

I found this thread interesting. For those who are really struggling with a relationship that's ending where your heart is broken, they should read this. A while later the real love, even bond, was for the beautiful ring and dress! You do get over these things and move on. It just sometimes doesn't feel that way when you are on the first few steps.

Audrey - would love to see that ring. I've always loved rings. Kind of ironic I've had to buy all of mine for myself...but I did get what I wanted!

Last edited by resolution09; 10-27-2009 at 07:54 AM.

 
Old 04-03-2011, 11:49 AM   #14
Newbie
(female)
 
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: florida
Posts: 9
sophie1218 HB User
Re: Wedding dress and rings after Divorce

My divorce is not final yet but my wedding dress is lying at the bottom of the pond in our yard. So is the formal we wore on our honeymoon cruise. Did it change anything? No. But for a brief minute it sure did make me feel better. The rings I haven't decided about yet. Do whatever feels right to you.

 
Closed Thread

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Board Replies Last Post
wedding day disaster moe2goody Women's Health 2 10-30-2009 11:25 AM
I'm sad that my boyfriend still has his wedding ring pa43 Relationship Health 20 08-24-2007 06:37 AM
New boyfriend.. He asked me to be his date at a wedding.. need advice US40126 Relationship Health 18 08-09-2007 01:31 PM
got to pay for wedding dress next week but having second thoughts about getting it sounhappy321 Relationship Health 7 04-29-2007 10:03 AM
wedding ring - to wear or not to wear when divorcing Ava_31 Relationship Health 14 04-02-2007 10:26 PM




Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is Off
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off




Join Our Newsletter

Stay healthy through tips curated by our health experts.

Whoops,

There was a problem adding your email Try again

Thank You

Your email has been added








TOP THANKED CONTRIBUTORS



shisslak (5), anonnymouse (4), renko (4), frikita (3), gardenandcats (2), rosequartz (2), Searchin (2), Titchou (2), Misty800 (2), thaliak (2)

Site Wide Totals

teteri66 (1180), MSJayhawk (1004), Apollo123 (903), Titchou (847), janewhite1 (823), Gabriel (759), ladybud (754), sammy64 (668), midwest1 (668), BlueSkies14 (610)



All times are GMT -7. The time now is 07:43 PM.



Site owned and operated by HealthBoards.com™
Terms of Use © 1998-2014 HealthBoards.com™ All rights reserved.
Do not copy or redistribute in any form!