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Divorce & Separation Message Board
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Old 06-19-2003, 05:41 AM   #1
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Post Separated vs. Divorced

Could anyone tell me what the difference is between being separated versus being divorced? My friend told me that her guy friend, who is separated from his wife right now, has a date with another woman? Could someone just explain the difference to me.

Thanks!

 
Old 06-19-2003, 05:46 AM   #2
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Hey LoveKitten,

Divorce is a legal term which signifies the end of a marriage.. Separation is merely when two married people spend time apart (whether they're trying to work on their differences or just waiting to get a divorce)..

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Melanie
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Old 06-19-2003, 06:04 AM   #3
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So is it wrong then that the someone who is just separated be going on a date and maybe even having sex?

 
Old 06-19-2003, 06:41 AM   #4
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I think that would depend on whether they're "separated" to work on the marriage or because it's really over and they're just waiting on the final papers.

Obviously, if he's supposed to be working on his marriage and he's seeing someone else, then he's not really wanting to be with his wife.

 
Old 06-19-2003, 09:04 AM   #5
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If they are separated because of waiting for the divorce to go through, or separated in anticipation of filing for divorce, then no, I do not believe there is anything wrong. Some states require a married couple to be separated for 1 year before a divorce can be granted. Some states require 2 years. Also, there is a thing called a Legal Separation. These are filed, then at the end of the 1 or 2 year waiting period, the divorce can be filed for without having to provide a witness to testify that the parties have, in fact, been separated for the time period required. That is how I got divorced. A legal Separation Agreement will have a clause in it stating that each party may "act as if they are not married", i.e., dating is allowed without any effect on the divorce proceedings which will take place. They key, as stated above, is to make sure that he is separated either waiting for a divorce to be finalized, or with the intention of filing for divorce after the waiting period, not while trying to work things out.

 
Old 06-19-2003, 09:14 AM   #6
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Now this may sound like a dumb question, but you say that it has a clause that they can act as if they are divorced. well they are still married .... is it, I guess, illegal to have sex and relationships while still married? Or is a moral issue, meaning just like frowned upon? I really don't know .... please explain

 
Old 06-19-2003, 10:22 AM   #7
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Hey LoveKitten,

It's strictly a moral issue.. If they aren't legally separated in the eyes of the law in some states, I would assume that what they do during their separation might be held against them when their divorce finally gets to court.. Divorces generally take more time than dissolutions (which is a civil divorce in which both parties reach an agreement without most of the muss and fuss of a divorce requested by one of the parties)..

Having relationships and sex with other people is not illegal (even when two people aren't separated), it just might effect things like alimony, child support and the division of their married assets when their divorce case goes to court (depending upon how vindictive they might be & how far they want to take things).. Hope that helps..

Take Care,
Melanie
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Old 06-19-2003, 01:11 PM   #8
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My first husband and I were separated for 3 years before our divorce was final. During that time, we both ended up with someone else. I think if you are separated with the intent of working on your marriage, you shouldn't date others. If you are simply separated and waiting around for your divorce to be final, with no intention of getting back with your spouse, you can do whatever you want to.

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