I remember feeling the same way and asking the same questions. Your right, it is going to be a long hard road. You have one advantage over me, I only got to see my kids one day a week for 4 hours. Plus 4 hours on odd holidays. Put your energy (what you have left) into taking care of your kid. It is hard (some say harder) on the kids. Take care of yourself too, take B complex and Zinc daily, try and sleep (try some over the counter Melatonian) as much as you can. Get out and get some exercise if you can squeeze it in with your kid. Don't fall into the sad music trap and stay away from sad tear jerker movies. Try and keep the faith and don't let fear,guilt,sadness and lonelyness get a hold on you. Remember there is such a condition as being alone but not lonely. Time will bring new changes and attitudes will adjust. YOu just have to be patient and try to keep your perspective.