Re: headed for divorce
Whoa, I completely disagree! Why all of a sudden is this man wanting lingerie, excitement, and more boobs? Is he going through a midlife crisis? Women were not put on this earth to be a man's sex object and personal prostitute. Pole dancers and pornography are giving women a bad reputation. More than likely your size 38DD were causing you back pain, although you don't mention that. Let him carry that around all day and see what he thinks.-- Sorry, got a little carried away.
Maybe you will understand why I am so passionate about this when I tell you a little history. My husband went through weird stages, wanting me to have long hair, wear blue eye shadow, and wear short skirts. I DO NOT LIKE BLUE EYESHADOW, but I wore what I considered a compromise of a blue/ gray color. I let my hair grow long, although I felt it looked better at a mid- length. I wore skirts, even when it was cold outside, although I wanted to wear long pants. Now, don't get me wrong, I take care of myself. I dress nicely, wear makeup, and fix my hair, etc. Why did the guy marry me if he wanted me to be someone else? If he wanted a blonde, blue- eyed woman who wore short skirts, why did he marry a brunette with brown eyes and who dressed conservatively? Do I have to change my personality just to suit him?
He went through the lingerie thing. I tried to wear some tasteful things. But, I'm sure he would have preferred porno queen. All this did was make me feel as if I wasn't wanted. When I gained weight because I was taking some medications after I had a stroke, he called me names like Shamu and reminded me often how fat I was. I didn't like it any more than he. I lost the weight eventually when I stopped the medicine, but I never forgot how I was treated. It's terrible to feel as if somehow your husband doesn't like the real you, either inside or out.
38C is plenty. If you want to wear something romantic because you love your husband, then do so. But, conforming to his desire because it somehow satisfies his midlife crisis expectations is just wrong!
Well, the end of the story: I guess my husband did want someone else, and he took every opportunity to find that person he wanted me to be and somehow wasn't. He cheated on me repeatedly and I've had enough. My husband does not live up to MY expectations of a loving, caring husband, so I am divorcing him after putting up with it for nearly 20 years.
So, learn a lesson from my marriage. If he's wanting you to be something that you're not, that's telling you there are problems. Fix it before you end up spending your life feeling as if you somehow never measure up and your marriage ends. As for me, I should have ended my marriage a long time ago.
Last edited by Administrator; 02-03-2011 at 06:23 PM.
Reason: removed inappropriate word